A theory, that I would love to test.

[Cornbread714 Profile]

I hadn't realized I was being so combative. Sorry mods, just don't see the value in antagonizing someone (that is a specific stance).

Uh, did you you actually read this whole thread?

I thought I did...what are you referring to? I'm not defending anyone, just to be clear.

No harm done, I got no beef with you. Maybe if you hang around long enough, you'll understand my own stance, maybe not...

[Hackjames Profile]

No harm done, I got no beef with you. Maybe if you hang around long enough, you'll understand my own stance, maybe not...

I have no meat types with you either. :]

I'm pretty sure that I understand your view, just suggesting that your response might not be the most constructive or effective. Hate breeds hate, and all that...all good though, no one is perfect and I include myself in that tally.

[Cornbread714 Profile]

No harm done, I got no beef with you. Maybe if you hang around long enough, you'll understand my own stance, maybe not...

I have no meat types with you either. :]

I'm pretty sure that I understand your view, just suggesting that your response might not be the most constructive or effective. Hate breeds hate, and all that...all good though, no one is perfect and I include myself in that tally.

Point taken.

[Spock Profile]

No harm done, I got no beef with you. Maybe if you hang around long enough, you'll understand my own stance, maybe not...

I have no meat types with you either. :]

I'm pretty sure that I understand your view, just suggesting that your response might not be the most constructive or effective.

I don't think you do Hack - not at all.

[Hackjames Profile]

I don't think you do Hack - not at all.

Noted, thanks.

[Mediasorcerer Profile]

Thank you everyone!

Signs of Insecurity

Here are some common signs that indicate insecurity:

Defensiveness

Insecure people tend to be very sensitive to critique and respond with defensiveness. They aren’t comfortable enough with themselves to accept that they might be flawed.

A secure person can handle criticism. They’re open to hearing about ways they might improve. If they disagree with the criticism, they don’t try to argue because they’re happy with who they are.

They’re comfortable enough to be themselves, even if other people don’t like it. They realize that they can’t please everyone.

Can’t Enjoy Silence

Some insecure people just can’t deal with silence. They fill every void with meaningless chatter, almost to avoid having to reflect on themselves. The unfortunate consequence is the annoyance of everyone around them, who secretly look for an escape.

A secure person can tolerate, and often enjoys silence. If they are with someone else, they have the ability to let someone else talk without having to interject their own perspective.

Excessive Joking

Another coping mechanism for insecurity is constant joking. While a sense of humor is almost necessary for emotional health, the excessive joker doesn’t seem to know the limits of appropriateness. (Think Michael Scott on “The Office.”)

It feels good when everyone laughs at your joke, and an insecure person craves this sort of attention. The unfortunate consequence is an uncomfortable environment and an insensitivity to others.

Jokes are almost always more funny when they are well-timed and delivered by a person of confidence. Security gives you the ability to be sensitive of others; knowing what they would consider funny and what they would consider offensive.

Self-Promoting

Insecure people tend to talk about themselves constantly, as if they feel like they have to prove themselves. Self-promotion is paramount to over-compensation for doubt.

A confident person doesn’t need to promote himself. His qualities are displayed naturally by the way he lives his life. Besides, he doesn’t need validation from anyone anyway.

Bullying

Insecure people feel threatened by others, and one way to cope with this is to try and squash them. The most threatening person of all to an insecure person is a secure person, because they can sense their power.

Overly Authoritative

Insecure people in positions of power tend to compensate for their lack of confidence by taking out their frustrations on their subordinates. They might issue unfair punishments or orders as a way to prove their authority.

I once had a boss who took joy in screaming at his employees, even for minor offenses. Once, I overheard him speaking to another manager about picking someone to fire for the fun of it. This kind of excessive authoritativeness is an obvious over-compensation for insecurity.

Overly Competitive

Competitiveness is part of a healthy emotional makeup, but over-competitiveness is a sign of a problem. Someone who can’t take losing by making a big emotional display lacks confidence.

A person who is secure with himself wins or loses with grace. Grace has a lot to do with respecting your opponent, and you can only do that if you are first comfortable with yourself.

Materialistic

A very dangerous coping mechanism for insecurity is buying things you can’t afford just to show off. We can all think of people with huge TV’s, fast cars, and every toy known to man; even though they don’t make much money. People like this tend to run up their credit cards and get themselves into big trouble.

A secure person doesn’t need to show off. He doesn’t care what other people think about his possessions.

Insecurity in Relationships

Insecurity tends to be amplified in relationships. In this situation, there is a constant struggle for control and energy.

Interestingly enough, people tend to be attracted to other people at the same level of security. Insecure people tend to find other insecure people to date, and secure people tend to date other secure people.

A healthy relationship is made up of two secure people who create their own emotional energy and give to their partner. An unhealthy relationship is made up of two insecure people who take emotional energy from their partner.

oh my GOD,youve just described the whole of humanity at any given point in time,

no wonder many people feel insecure about who they are,nobody could live up to this bar some kind of buddhist holy man or something,

BUT!!!=====the big "failing" in this list,is the reality/truth that we are always in constant "FLUX", we are never sitting at one emotional/mental/spiritual point,today we may be fine,tomorrow we may be insecure as hell,cos THATS the nature of humans spirit and reality,
one minute we may be freaking out over not being "good" enough[in our own minds}
the next we may be feeling secure as all hell.

why does this flux never be taken into account when folks pin forms/modes of being on others?

[Endless16 Profile]

Thank you everyone!

Signs of Insecurity

Here are some common signs that indicate insecurity:

Defensiveness

Insecure people tend to be very sensitive to critique and respond with defensiveness. They aren’t comfortable enough with themselves to accept that they might be flawed.

A secure person can handle criticism. They’re open to hearing about ways they might improve. If they disagree with the criticism, they don’t try to argue because they’re happy with who they are.

They’re comfortable enough to be themselves, even if other people don’t like it. They realize that they can’t please everyone.

Can’t Enjoy Silence

Some insecure people just can’t deal with silence. They fill every void with meaningless chatter, almost to avoid having to reflect on themselves. The unfortunate consequence is the annoyance of everyone around them, who secretly look for an escape.

A secure person can tolerate, and often enjoys silence. If they are with someone else, they have the ability to let someone else talk without having to interject their own perspective.

Excessive Joking

Another coping mechanism for insecurity is constant joking. While a sense of humor is almost necessary for emotional health, the excessive joker doesn’t seem to know the limits of appropriateness. (Think Michael Scott on “The Office.”)

It feels good when everyone laughs at your joke, and an insecure person craves this sort of attention. The unfortunate consequence is an uncomfortable environment and an insensitivity to others.

Jokes are almost always more funny when they are well-timed and delivered by a person of confidence. Security gives you the ability to be sensitive of others; knowing what they would consider funny and what they would consider offensive.

Self-Promoting

Insecure people tend to talk about themselves constantly, as if they feel like they have to prove themselves. Self-promotion is paramount to over-compensation for doubt.

A confident person doesn’t need to promote himself. His qualities are displayed naturally by the way he lives his life. Besides, he doesn’t need validation from anyone anyway.

Bullying

Insecure people feel threatened by others, and one way to cope with this is to try and squash them. The most threatening person of all to an insecure person is a secure person, because they can sense their power.

Overly Authoritative

Insecure people in positions of power tend to compensate for their lack of confidence by taking out their frustrations on their subordinates. They might issue unfair punishments or orders as a way to prove their authority.

I once had a boss who took joy in screaming at his employees, even for minor offenses. Once, I overheard him speaking to another manager about picking someone to fire for the fun of it. This kind of excessive authoritativeness is an obvious over-compensation for insecurity.

Overly Competitive

Competitiveness is part of a healthy emotional makeup, but over-competitiveness is a sign of a problem. Someone who can’t take losing by making a big emotional display lacks confidence.

A person who is secure with himself wins or loses with grace. Grace has a lot to do with respecting your opponent, and you can only do that if you are first comfortable with yourself.

Materialistic

A very dangerous coping mechanism for insecurity is buying things you can’t afford just to show off. We can all think of people with huge TV’s, fast cars, and every toy known to man; even though they don’t make much money. People like this tend to run up their credit cards and get themselves into big trouble.

A secure person doesn’t need to show off. He doesn’t care what other people think about his possessions.

Insecurity in Relationships

Insecurity tends to be amplified in relationships. In this situation, there is a constant struggle for control and energy.

Interestingly enough, people tend to be attracted to other people at the same level of security. Insecure people tend to find other insecure people to date, and secure people tend to date other secure people.

A healthy relationship is made up of two secure people who create their own emotional energy and give to their partner. An unhealthy relationship is made up of two insecure people who take emotional energy from their partner.

Ty for describing the typical human male...

But seriously... ofc Religious people are more secure, they think an invisible man living in the sky is personally looking after them, that they can talk to them whenever they like, and absolutely everything happens for a reason.

However, the happiest people on Earth are retards, amused by licking a window, so does the feeling of contentment that comes from a complete failure to understand your surroundings make someone a better person?

[Marduk2012 Profile]

es ist was es ist sagt die liebe
was es ist fragt der verstand
wohin es geht das woll'n wir wissen
und betreten neues deutsches land