Ah, That's Life Isn't It?

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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 7:03 pm » by Spock


Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21.. Even the words sound like a ceremony.YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling... What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone....

But! wait!! ! You MAKE IT to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE IT to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into ! your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning. ! Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6... The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008

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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 7:18 pm » by Drjones


Amen. :clapper:
RIP George.
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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 7:23 pm » by Torofamily


good post you old bastard. :mrgreen:


the older you get the more you learn to appreciate and value life and the people you love
here's something to look forward to. some cool hoveraround races
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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 7:28 pm » by -Marduk-


Listen to funk and u will stay young forever...no shit

Sis kind of music will always make you dance..

Thx James ...u gave me so much.


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-= PREDESTINATION: Itz hard to be ze good guy when you turn into a fucking gun =-

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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 7:40 pm » by Torofamily


what i was able to do all night now takes me all night to doImage
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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 7:53 pm » by Eaganthorn


marduk2012 wrote:Listen to funk and u will stay young forever...no shit

Sis kind of music will always make you dance..

Thx James ...u gave me so much.


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Word up!
Science is truth, God is truth, therefore

God is Science.

All religions were written by men, to control the hearts and minds of other men.

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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 7:56 pm » by Spock


marduk2012 wrote:Listen to funk and u will stay young forever...no shit

Sis kind of music will always make you dance..

Thx James ...u gave me so much.


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I understood that our resident demon had an uncontrollable infatuation with "da funk", I wanted to witness it first hand.

I coursed my path to his dwelling in my lucid state in order to glimpse inside the world of pure evil with a dash of "HAY - HU NOW".

The scene was disturbing; dim candles flickered in the thick black while shadowy figures dashed about in cloaks.

Me etherial body hovered over a scene so terrifying, so unhuman, so unnatural, it burned into my entire existence.

A new laminate floor, dotted with the char of dropped cigarettes, empty beer bottles, a smoking bong, and most obvious, the huge pentagram in the floor, not created by chalk or dust, but with the power of merciless intent, and in the middle...











Marduk....

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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 9:11 pm » by Boondox681


sweet.thanx
i'll always be 13...just ask my wife.
peace
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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 10:02 pm » by Tinman4higher


William Shatner


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Atheism is a non-prophet organization...GC

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PostSat Apr 17, 2010 11:24 pm » by Tinman4higher


2+2=4

, ---------------- --------------------------------------------------------------

Mine is a simple theory. Life is never as easy as two-plus-two-equals-four. Because four is a variable. Four can be what you want you it to be. My "four" is a good cigar. I'm constantly amazed by the people who tell me, "Bob, those things are going to kill you!" They might have a point, but let's do the math:
George Burns, 100, cigar-smoker, alive.
Marlboro Man, 54, cigarette-smoker, dead.
You don't know who your friends are until you pull out a cigar. Here in California, land of sunshine, palm trees, city ordinances and militant anti-smokers, I like to walk into a building with an unlit cigar in my mouth. Why? Because I love the reaction I get from the stressed-out non-smoker. You know who I mean - the guy with a carbon-monoxide detector on his lapel who sees my cigar and looks at me like I just murdered his family.
He corners me and starts sputtering his diatribe... "Hey! hey! hey! y-y-you can't light that in here! "I look him straight in the eye and say, "That's probably why it's not lit, Sparky! It's called oral fixation, bay-bee! Now why don't you go outside and have your stroke! I hear the smog index is at an all-time high today!" This guy's "four" is a warped perception of the concentration of toxins in the air that he breathes while jogging behind a bus.
I truly believe that it's not second-hand smoke that'll kill you, but rather the stress of worrying about it. I learned this from my doctor. He blames everything on stress. Just last week, I thought I had him. I said,
"Doc, I've got these chest pains!" He said, "Bob, it's stress." I said, "Doc it's a bullet wound." He said, "I know, the person who shot you must've been really stressed-out!"
Our whole society has become stressed-out. The crime rate is down but fear of crime is up. Fear is a lot of people's "four. "And in a capitalistic society when fear is a "four'," it works well with the genius marketing executives whose "four" is big bucks.
I love statistics. I read that the making of sperm can decrease your life span. Talk about taking your life in your own hands! I also read that 60% of all pregnancies are unplanned. Which means 6 out of 10 of you reading this, shouldn't be. A study claimed that 8% of the population worry about going to hell. I guess the other 92% got a pre-approved application in the mail. I don't worry about going to hell. I found it fascinating that two out of three Americans believe in the Devil. Or roughly 66.6%. (Which would not make any sense had I not done the math for you.)
It's important to do your own math. Make your "four" what you want it to be. Next time a kid asks you for help with the age-old "If a train leaves Chicago at 3:00 p.m" word problem, show the kid how to solve the problem. But picture yourself in the smoking car of the train, watching the world go by, and not once asking what time it will be when you arrive at your destination. Your destination will always be there. So get off the train as often as you want. Maybe you'll wake up in a hellish place where everybody is telling you, "Hey! You can't do that here!" 0r, maybe you'll wind up in a heavenly place where everybody is smoking a big, fat cigar.
Reprinted by permission, SMOKE Magazine, Spring Issue, Vol. I, Issue 2, 1996
Atheism is a non-prophet organization...GC


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