Ive been meaning to post on this for a while now. The US child support system SUX!! I don't know how to tell this story without making it sound like an episode of Jerry Springer, and making into a book but here goes.

I have a beautiful daughter, she is 5 years old and has been diagnosed with autism. Her mother and I separated just after she was born, she was born very premature and was in the hospital for a long time, but made it. After our breakup her mother moved her to another city with her mother about 3 hours away from me. We went into the Attorney Generals office and saw a female case worker and they made a court order for the amount I was to pay in child support based on the salary I was making at my job at the time. In the months and years to follow, my ex was a total roadblock in my seeing my daughter, and I only got to see her 2 - 3 times a year for a couple of days at a time (which was in violation of our court order) and was told by the AG that I would have to get an attourney (that I couldn't afford) to go after her for violating the court order and to get proper visitation. So after running around and trying to find an affordable lawyer, I gave up and decided I would pursue it when I was in a better financial situation. 2 years after this whole thing started my pay was cut by the company I was working for and I was told by the Texas AG office that a 6 week review process was required to make any changes to the court order. I figured I would be the good daddy and just deal with the extra money being taken and save myself the hassle of going through another review process. I finally got a different job and its my 3rd year there, and something amazing happened, My exes sister got her whole family in trouble when a child on her watch in her home day care business died, and the whole family was under investigation, that was my chance and I convinced my ex to give me our daughter and my little girl has been living with me since. Its been almost 6 months since that happened AND I'M STILL HAVING TO PAY MY EX CHILD SUPPORT!! I also have a 13 year old daughter by a different mother that I am paying child support for. OVER 50% of my paycheck is gone after child support and I'm trying to raise a 5 year old daughter with a disability on less than minimum wage right now. My ex won't admit it, but it seems she is glad to not have the burden of an autistic child around, and she FLAT OUT REFUSES to call the Attorney Generals office, which would speed up this process if she did. The Texas Attorney general's office told me I have to wait 6 MONTHS before I can get the court order changed, and I have to keep paying up until the point that I fill out an affidavit of possession stating that the child is living with me and once they receive the affidavit its another 2 months for them to actually get it changed.

Once again, Im really sorry for the long post, but I don't know how to get this story to really make sense without putting all the ridiculous back story in with it, the situation is beyond frustrating!

NO, I know what you mean man.

I won't go into details because there is alot of shitfaces that will take the situation out of context.

But I know what you mean. it does suck and to tell you the truth the only reason why states enforce the Child Support deal so Intensely is because when you pay Child support, it DOES NOT go to the mother and/or child right away. what they do is they pool the money until the next months payment comes then they release the first check. Why do they do that you might ask? so they can keep a months worth of accounting stacked in case they have to pull money out of the accounts set up to gain interest of your child support payments. basically the state is making interest money off of your paychecks as well as taxes.

don't believe me as any lawyer they will tell you ( if they are honest....HAHA) that child support is a good revenue for the states, probably not top grossing but they make alot of money doing it..

they rarely don't do anything to the mothers because they don't want to interfere to much with the payment process. you notice how when you weren't able to see her how they told you "to get a lawyer?" they were trying to stall you or get you to not do it... I don't blame you though because truth be told It is better to try alone then to get a lawyer you probably couldn't afford and have a chance of losing anyways.

Keep the good fight up brother, if you are really interested there are several websites and activist groups to help out single male fathers, or male fathers and protect their rights and keep it equal for men with children that are being treated unfairly or unequally.


take care and there are several of us that feel your pain...

Dude, don't apologize for your post! I definitely believe that child support is broken. I had a friend that basically drank himself to death because his semi-wealthy ex-wife was bilking him for tons of money a month. So in a way I can identify with what you are going through. I am sorry it is such an ordeal, and hopefully this will be squared away soon.

Dude, my gut wrenched reading that..

100% on topic and im glad you did post.
Not a person on here could read that and fault you for any thought that went through your mind on the subject. Things like that are just plain madness...

I got no wisdom, other than keep your head in better check than i would..im prone to trip under instances of 'institutional madness', and likely make things worse for myself.

I have a need to believe that, somewhere in the end, being the better man, taking the hit, letting your daughters see that you can be bigger than "HER" (or the govt) and not letting it pollute your head like it would mine.. will count for something..sooner rather than later, hopefully..

(i mean of course keep workin on the solution) but it SOUNDS like you are level headed DESPITE how screwed over youve been.

Best of luck and again..100% on topic.
Hang in there boss, even if the best that comes out of it, is that your daughter (the young one) gets to see dad stay cool, and just keep smiling and lovin her, even when getting pushed..that's almost worth the cost of admission anyhow.. right?

The system sucks and is not for the male...it caters to the female. Personally, I believe that when a child is born there should be a DNA or paternity test done immediately before the child goes home. It would eliminate a lot of females from putting a child on a innocent party. Also, I believe that there should be some form of accounting system for the beneficiary of support payments e.g. monthly accounting of how the money received was spent as proof of the child or children being cared for is being done in a adequate manner.

Check your state laws, (maybe you already have).
In Illinois, I quit paying CS when my kids were at my parents in Oklahoma. (2 months per year in summer)
All my ex could do is try to get it from court.
The judge TOLD her there, she IS NOT entitled to receive child support if the children are staying somewhere else for a period of time.
She wanted to buy some new living room furniture with it. Actually thought the judge would award her a settlement.

Man, what does that say about Texas!?

Unfortunately, in texas the state automatically awards custody to the mother regardless of who would be a more fit parent unless the child is in some sort of danger. Thus, my case however maybe this link will get you going in the right direction as Judge David Wynn-Miller was in a similar situation and is currently changing the entire legal system one case at a time. For those of you who dont, know, our entire legal system is based on a lie that has been agreed to and kept secret since it was created. One example is the word CONTRACT. Con meaning "no", Tract meaning "agreement".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlrN85OA ... re=related