Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

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PostSun Oct 14, 2012 12:11 am » by Cosmine


Newearthman wrote:Well...well...What do we have here...I think someone truely loves me, I can tell. All this coming out is just your desire to be with me and the frustration that you can't have my body next to yours.

To set the record strait, everything I posted online and all my actions and intent with S.C. was and is 100% honest and I still love her through her confusion. She is trying to justify by any means necessary that we are not meant to be together but the truth hidden behind Serious's curtain is that she is afraid to get her heart broken if she really shows her love towards me. Yes Anastasia brought us together and it's insulting to me that you say I just used it to fill some sort of alternate agenda on my part. You know I have never told another woman in my adult life that I love her...and when I say it to you I mean it and you know it. I still love you believe it or not because I know the true you...the one thats hidden away behind all the protective layers you have.

Love Chris!


:love:



Man, i too still love Stef, my eighteen years relationship whit her was a partial life time commitment,
But overtime things degraded, she became ultra violent as her vampire (psychic) nature took over.

I had too let her go! :hell:
Eight years pass by,and i didn't found a new mate.


Thank's for warning me that Asami was a "robot" she didn't hurt me as much as she might have. :evil:







:flop:





:cheers:
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Vocasti! :twisted:

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PostWed Oct 17, 2012 12:45 am » by 99socks


These are my instincts....

:look:







Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence

These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.
They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.


Denial Patterns:

I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
I lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
I label others with my negative traits.
I can take care of myself without any help from others.
I mask my pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation.
I express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways.
I do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom I am attracted.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:

I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge what I think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.
I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
I constantly seek recognition that I think I deserve.
I have difficulty admitting that I made a mistake.
I need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and will even lie to look good.
I am unable to ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I perceive myself as superior to others.
I look to others to provide my sense of safety.
I have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
I have trouble setting healthy priorities.

Compliance Patterns:

I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
I put aside my own interests in order to do what others want.
I am hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings.
I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others.
I accept sexual attention when I want love.
I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
I give up my truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.

Control Patterns:

I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.
I freely offer advice and direction to others without being asked.
I become resentful when others decline my help or reject my advice.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I want to influence.
I use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.
I demand that my needs be met by others.
I use charm and charisma to convince others of my capacity to be caring and compassionate.
I use blame and shame to emotionally exploit others.
I refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
I adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.
I use terms of recovery in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
I pretend to agree with others to get what I want.

Avoidance Patterns:

I act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward me.
I judge harshly what others think, say, or do.
I avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a means of maintaining distance.
I allow my addictions to people, places, and things to distract me from achieving intimacy in relationships.
I use indirect and evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation.
I diminish my capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use all the tools of recovery.
I suppress my feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable.
I pull people toward me, but when they get close, I push them away.
I refuse to give up my self-will to avoid surrendering to a power that is greater than myself.
I believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.
I withhold expressions of appreciation.



http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/patterns-new.htm

I'm claiming Fair Use on this one!!!
I can't speak about how much of the Constitution is in effect anymore... But thank God we still somewhat resemble a Republic and not a democracy!


http://thethinkingapostate.ghost.io/

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PostWed Oct 17, 2012 12:57 am » by Spock


Don't spend one second on anyone that doesn't believe you measure up.

The life outside of a crappy relationship, of any kind, whether that be marriage, friendship, employer, or anything that you feel some sense of obligation to, is ecstatic. Sometimes it takes wallowing in misery, and going through the difficulty and pain of ending it, that makes you appreciate freedom and solitude so much more. And it takes being in those long enough to remember the misery during the good times, to protect yourself from allowing it again.

It's all just another addiction, and needs to be treated as such to avoid relapse.

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PostWed Oct 17, 2012 8:40 am » by Seriouscitizen


Spock wrote:Don't spend one second on anyone that doesn't believe you measure up.

The life outside of a crappy relationship, of any kind, whether that be marriage, friendship, employer, or anything that you feel some sense of obligation to, is ecstatic. Sometimes it takes wallowing in misery, and going through the difficulty and pain of ending it, that makes you appreciate freedom and solitude so much more. And it takes being in those long enough to remember the misery during the good times, to protect yourself from allowing it again.

It's all just another addiction, and needs to be treated as such to avoid relapse.


Defenitely.

b.t.w. and NEM, I am not holding my love back to you. And i hope you know that by now, the mistake was on me to assume you knew that after me teling you several times. And i think the rest can know that too, because this is where there is a lot of miscommunication. Ive hold back, a lot but, only on the forum and only in pointing out the obvious. Out of respect for you and because i believe in the message of love even though i felt nothing but friendship and you knew that right from the start so stop pretending you found out here and now. everyone deserves a person that inspires him or her. And it doesnt have to be the first one to see beauty in you. its logicall for people to see the good sides when they look at life lighthearted. But dont mistake that for the ground base you need to base a relationship on.


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