ESCALATION & EXPOSURE

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PostSat Feb 02, 2013 3:15 am » by Troll2rocks


Cornbread714 wrote:You have a great imagination, I really admire that.

I can't for the life of me, it seems, come up with a fictional storyline that I can maintain or visualize well enough to write even a short story, much less a novel.

I really wish I could.

I hope to maybe someday be able to fictionalize some of my crazy life story - and believe me, I have some stories, but it just doesn't seem to happen. Part of that is sheer laziness, I guess, but I think some have a gift for spinning a fictional tale, which you obviously do.

The problem I have (if you'd like a bit of critique) with trying to wade through your work here - which I don't know if is intended as a short story, novella, rough draft for a screenplay, or just something to amuse yourself and DTV members - is that without some pauses created by paragraph indentation, I find it basically unreadable.

My mind just goes blank staring at those thick blocks of words.

Like I say - I'm not sure what your purpose is - but I would find this piece way more digestible if you cut it into smaller bites.

Especially considering that you cram a lot of detail into the story. It doesn't move quickly - which is ok - but a slow-moving story with lots of density and hardly any paragraph indents is like swallowing several large bricks.

I mean that with all due respect. And it's just my opinion. I think you should keep going and take my critique with a huge brick of salt, lol. :alien51:



Lol salt accepted :flop: I agree completely, I think it needs breaking up a lot more, and editing down into manageable paragraphs, I made the mistake of condensing the first post into the relevant pieces of info I wanted to get across. Condensing together vast chunks of info that are daunting to stare at nevermind read lmao.

I do intend going back and editing everything together better, and removing a lot of superfluous information etc, but it's really just for my own amusement really more than anything. Basically I just want to see what I can accomplish if I set a given amount of time to it, and I guess the zombie genre is rife at the moment. Although, I do have to add, these are not technically zombies lol, but that's such a stupid and geeky argument it's barely worth mentioning.

Yes agreed, it is moving very slow, I does start out faster paced, but that is obviously because I am catching the reader up on several months worth of fictional history, but I do intend to have things pick up pace in the next few entries, I have a rough outline of where I want it to go, and just how fucked I want it to get lol, but it's nothing serious I'm working on I'm just messing around with it really, its just fun to see where it will go and what twists I can throw into it etc.


As for you writing a novel, I think you should just do it, I know you are an exceptional writer, you should most definitely harness that and pursue it. :flop:

" How I killed My Way Across Europe "

There ^, there's your title, now run with it and get it done!. lol


Thanks for your comment man, I shall most certainly look at paragraph spacing with future instalments, and look at rearranging those already up.

Appreciated :cheers:
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PostSat Feb 02, 2013 3:17 am » by The57ironman


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....i love it here....


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.....you can educate the ignorant...but there's no fk'n helping the stupid.

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PostSat Feb 02, 2013 3:20 am » by Cornbread714


Troll2rocks wrote:As for you writing a novel, I think you should just do it, I know you are an exceptional writer, you should most definitely harness that and pursue it. :flop:

" How I killed My Way Across Europe "

There ^, there's your title, now run with it and get it done!. lol



I remember you suggesting that on Skype - that is one kickass title.

If only it weren't true... :alien51:
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PostSat Feb 02, 2013 6:57 am » by Troll2rocks


You may note the title has changed from REMAIN INDOORS, to ESCALATION and EXPOSURE, mainly due to the fact that I decided to Google the title to see if any similar titles popped up with a similar premise. Turns out there are to many to mention but this first link was enough to convince me a title change was in order straight away.


http://murraymaynard.blogspot.co.uk/

I couldn't believe it when I saw that, and then this...

http://www.zombiepandemic.com/ViewClan.aspx?Id=10997


The new title was always the one I planned on anyway.


There are others too, anyway, upon knowing this now, I cant rightly use that title, as it's clearly already over used. Even if this isn't about zombies at all. and never was. Eh eh
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PostSat Feb 02, 2013 6:33 pm » by The57ironman


Image
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.....you can educate the ignorant...but there's no fk'n helping the stupid.

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PostSat Feb 02, 2013 6:41 pm » by Zer0


So Troll has turned DTV into his own personal blog just like that other SkullBabylon fagget? ...Sure why not!
Master Raphael wrote:what you call the law of attraction was missing a vital aspect to the theory that I call the law of repulsion ...it is clear I drove the two of you together...using my repulsion not attraction

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PostSat Feb 02, 2013 7:07 pm » by Cosmine


Otoel wrote:So Troll has turned DTV into his own personal blog just like that other SkullBabylon fagget? ...Sure why not!


Both of them are among the masters of the universe... :twisted:



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PostSat Feb 02, 2013 7:50 pm » by Troll2rocks


The57ironman wrote:Image



Lmao that is uncanny, very similar to something coming in the next up. Nice man :flop:
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PostTue Feb 05, 2013 3:02 am » by The57ironman


Troll2rocks wrote:Any comments made on this thread will be removed when the next entry goes up.

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Image
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.....you can educate the ignorant...but there's no fk'n helping the stupid.

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PostTue Feb 05, 2013 9:33 am » by Troll2rocks


The57ironman wrote:
Troll2rocks wrote:Any comments made on this thread will be removed when the next entry goes up.

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Sorry man, had a few things to sort, and needed a short break from writing, I shall bring it back tonight :flop:
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