Thirty years ago I saw my first UFO up close and personal. I was a security guard on my rounds checking a huge propane storage tank outside of an industrial factory. It was in the evening and as I approached the tank storage area I noticed something over my shoulder. I looked up and saw a disc shaped object within one hundred feet, almost directly over my head. The disc was lit up like a Christmas tree with red, green, yellow, and white lights moving around two outer edges. It was at least thirty feet across. It was perfectly silent and I do not remember even hearing the usual sounds of the night. It hovered in place long enough for me to think I had surely lost my mind. I looked around hoping there was someone else that might see it. I saw traffic on a boulevard maybe a quarter of a mile away, but no one was stopping. I guess I stood there for maybe thirty seconds as the craft slowly started to drift away before suddenly moving away at an incredible speed. It was there and then it seemed to just zip away into space. I finished my rounds and never spoke of this for almost twenty years. This is not why I am writing now.
About thirty-five years ago I was on a cross country trip with my wife travelling from Colorado to Kentucky. It was very late. Maybe two or three in the morning. I was driving on old Highway 50 somewhere in Missouri I believe. There were signs about Carrie Nation. As I was driving along I suddenly saw a huge white owl standing in the middle of the road. The owl's head was higher than the hood of my car. I remember seeing it turn it's head toward me and seeing those huge eyes, then braking, and waiting for the collision with it. The next moment I was parked off the road in front of a sign about the famous Carrie Nation. My wife was sound asleep. I was tired and went immediately to sleep. When we woke in the morning I tried to explain about the owl to my wife, but she didn't know anything about it. To me it seemed profound, but we never spoke of it again. This is still not why I am writing for advice.
About fifteen years ago I was with my five kids and second wife visiting a sister in Kentucky. I admit I had maybe three beers to drink all evening. It was a hot summer night and the adults were all laying out under a tree in the back yard just trying to stay cool. I noticed a bright light very high up that was moving across the sky and pointed it out to everyone. I joked that we were seeing a UFO. Then I had the thought for a moment that it was suddenly moving very close. The next instance I was standing at the front gate of my sisters house. My son was there. I was confused but not anxious or worried about anything. We both said something about being tired and we went right to bed. I do not remember thinking or at the time worrying about what happened to everyone else that night. I did not speak of this for probably fifteen years until it just came up in a conversation with my son. He was as surprised as I was to hear that each of us had almost the same experience. We both seemed to have lost some time between the back yard and standing outside the front gate. Still, this is not why I am writing for your advice.
Around 1991 I came to find I had a very sore spot way up inside my nostrils. My nose would bleed occasionally and was extremely sore to touch. After quite a while of trying nasal sprays and such, I decided I needed to see what was causing my problem. I assumed I would find an ingrown hair or something similar. One evening I used a pair of tweezers to explore my nasal passages. It wasn't long until I found an extremely tender spot almost too far inside to reach with the tweezers. When I touched it with the tweezers it made a metallic "ting" sound. At this point I had gone too far to stop, so I dug it out with the tweezers. It was a small, almost rod shaped piece of metal covered in tissue. During the same time I had spots on each of my temples that were were very irritated and tender to touch and were what I thought to be a simple skin eruptions. I had the tweezers so I used them there as well. I removed a small piece of metal from each temple. I did not save the pieces I removed and remarkably, although I thought it was strange at the time, I did not dwell on this for long at all. My nose and temples healed nicely. I do have small spots on my temples where the metal was. I may be paranoid, but to be honest, I felt "safer" once the metal was gone. I am getting there, but even this is not why I need your help.
In 2001 I got hurt on the job and within months found myself suddenly disabled and divorced. I suddenly had no responsibilities. To fill the boredom I spent my time scouring the Internet looking for answers about my "sightings", "missing time", and such. I have been looking almost daily for nine years now. During this time my search and interests have expanded to include crop circles, out of place artifacts, remote viewing, alien research, hybrids, government sites such as Area 51 and Dulce, government conspiracies such as the events of 9/11 and the Kennedy assassination, the role of religion in society, the Illuminati, and so much more. It is as though I have opened a can of worms and as much as I try I can not get them back in the can. This is why I am writing. I need advice from someone who may have seen and heard and learned a lot about all these things, and still function well.
I was raised in Kentucky. I was raised as a patriotic, God fearing Protestant, with old fashioned values. Now I find myself adrift on a sea I do not understand. The more I search it seems the less I know. I feel like I have taken the wrong pill and now cannot change my mind and go back to sleep. I am no longer a Christian, but do not know what I am. I love what I used to think America was, but not what I know it to be now. I do still believe in God, I am a spiritual person, and I pray often.
What advice do you folks have for people like me who have opened their eyes and suddenly see that all they have based the ideals on is not true? If most of what we learned in school is just what we were supposed to learn. If what we hear on the main stream news is just what we are supposed to hear. If religions have been tampered with from long ago. If the rug we called or basic beliefs has suddenly been pulled out from under us. What do we hold on to? What do you hold on to when the lies we have been fed for so long are suddenly made clear? What is a man to do when he really feels he has been "tampered" with by beings he can not understand?
I know this is so much to ask and at the same time maybe very vague. I am hoping maybe some of you out there have a belief that gets you through when the reality you might have once held on to is gone. I need to be able to say more than I am a human just trying to get by in this crazy world. I do appreciate your time and any advice you might offer.
Thanks for your time.
Now I wrote this whole thing without once writing - those bastards, the assholes, or those sons of bitches. I done did good..................T
mountainize1956 wrote:Now I find myself adrift on a sea I do not understand. The more I search it seems the less I know. I feel like I have taken the wrong pill and now cannot change my mind and go back to sleep. I am no longer a Christian, but do not know what I am. I love what I used to think America was, but not what I know it to be now. I do still believe in God, I am a spiritual person, and I pray often.
What advice do you folks have for people like me who have opened their eyes and suddenly see that all they have based the ideals on is not true?
First of all,
Second, it's ok to be overwhelmed... I think most of us are or were at some point. Just take it one step at a time- running in circles seems to make it much worse. Focus on one thing, and make that one thing your priority- whether it is straightening out your ideals vs. reality or figuring out what your place is in all of this. The key, to a certain extent is acceptance... Not apathy or throwing in the towel, but allowing yourself to absorb and digest your new world.
PS: dont worry if you dont understand what is happening.. most of us ( DTVs members) are in the same condition but life goes on.. remember that
Be Your Own Messiah
Well, i'll try in a few short summaries.
When you found out santa wasn't real, or the tooth fairy, or the like, did it destroy what you were?
the religion question is covered there, in some ways. does anyone know who or what the nature of god is? no, and anyone tell you they do are full of shit. no one knows any more or less then you do. so don't feel alone there, just know all those times praying that seemed to help,.. well it was more self reliance, But there is nothing wrong with speculating about the nature of existence.
make the best of what time you have here, because there is no guarantee there is an afterlife, reincarnation, or dimensional shift. Live life to the fullest and rejoice in that you live in the age of information. an are able to educate yourself to the fullest and not be cornered into ignorance. <And that vegas is right around the corner!>
the alien stuff..
well. i could only recount my experiences, which do not involve missing time, or abduction, but does include sightings of craft, and oddities.
first time was on a trampoline, looking at the sky, saw an object shoot across the sky, stop, and take off again.
Then later in life, watched what could only be described as a dimensional vortex open over the course of 15 to 20 mins, and close, and had two other witnesses at work with me. worked a night shift at the time, and was round 3 am, and in the vortex it appeared to be bright sky. only have heard of such in some Bermuda triangle stories.
I'm on the east coast btw.
Also along with a friend on the way home witness a ufo in the sky.
I've had few other questionable experiences.
all in all, i couldn't tell you what i saw, i only know i saw something, no proof, just my word, and fortunately a witness here and there.
I really don't try and make sense of it, i'm a geek and grew up on star trek, so i hold out hope of alien contact in my lifetime, or space travel. tho it seems unlikely. and i keep my eyes on science and what new theories and discoveries are round the corner. along with history. Because, if nothing else, i'll make the best sense of it i can.
The biggest thing tho, as i said, live life to the fullest, even if that is truly limited to a degree, be glad you got it, cause many lose it without a choice.
Not promoting anything but if you get the chance pick up the book.....................
"The Power Of Now".
Second, what helps me immensely is that I am a reincarnationist. I look at myself as a spiritual being who is a human being at the moment. This let's me release a lot of the anxiety that may be associated with some being doing anal probes. This philosophy also allows me to look at the whole idea of aliens as if they were less alien than they might be. By this I mean that if I am a spiritual being so are they and this makes us a little less different.
Lastly, just be prepared to be different than most other people. People I talk to go blank when I talk seriously about UFOs. It's not a bad thing but it takes some adjustment. Enjoy your uniqueness it virtually guarantees a very interesting life.
I call life an adventure, and always have fun with it. I was just talking with someone from high school I am 45 now getting caught up, we came from small town way up north and kind of stumble into one another , In fairly large city… We have not had contact in like years … I thought that was amazing, it became very clear that we lived in two different worlds…I didn’t try to force any of my ideas on him, share some, got those you must be crazy looks….I also question some of his …He is so focus on living the so called American dream….Well we hung out for awhile, I tip toe around what I had really been up to like question everything I thought life was, then realize it was not what I thought it was. What was gone from this exchange of ideas was my anger… WOW …I have come along way…..At one point he wanted to impose his dream on me, I said friend you could say I took the blue pill, and will continue this quest, I thrive on trying to figure out why things are the way they are and if there is better way of doing something…At one point I had to stand my ground in were I was at, and if he could not respect that, then we must part ways…I had no anger wow!! I share with him I can’t live in denial, and I can’t go back to sleep, so I may as well have fun with life and keep doing what I love to do…and I wish him the best in whatever he was looking for….Have not heard from him since …
Its like you go through this grieving process, I had wise person that cross my path way back when, and said do what you really love to do just for you, and make it a habit…..Yes I love to research stuff, and I am not afraid to try something new, at times I get bit pist of what takes place, but I do still have this habit of doing what I love to do.....It kind of balances things out….So my advice would be do something fun, or something you love to do at least once a week for yourself and see what happens. Don’t believe what I say, put it to the test I do so can you!
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