I wish us White people had never existed to begin with!

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PostThu May 24, 2012 9:18 am » by NamelessGhoul

Entertaining little story!




It's a Wonderful Race!

There once was a college freshman named George who thought he knew it all. While home for Christmas Break, George and his father got into a heated dispute after dinner one night. The argument began when the young student tried to explain to his father that, as White people, they should be held accountable for all the wrongs that they had inflicted upon non-Whites throughout history.

George's father can't believe what he is hearing!

George explained: "Because of European racism and greed, we stole the Native Americans' land, we held African Americans in slavery, we persecuted the Jews, and we ruined the environment. We've been oppressive racists for thousands of years so it's only fair that we pay economic reparations for the harm we've done to the world. I'm happy to see we are ending our political and economic domination of the oppressed peoples, but we still have a long way to go."

George's dad was shocked to hear such talk. "Who put that commie-pinko crap into your head, son? Did one of your sandal-wearing hippy college professors teach you that?" the father asked.

To which the son replied: "That's the truth dad. My anthropology professor, Dr. Irving Silverstein, says so. He ought to know. Dr. Silverstein is a critically acclaimed author and a Ph.D. People of your generation just don't understand because you were raised in a White supremacist racist society. That's why I've come to admire Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King as the greatest man in American history. He stood up to the racists of your generation. Because of him, my generation of White kids is completely colorblind."

The father angrily replied: "That's a bunch of horsecrap! I've always been fair-minded and tolerant of people from all backgrounds and races. When have you ever heard a racial epithet come out of my mouth? I haven't "oppressed' anybody, and furthermore there's nothing wrong with identifying with your own people, including the European race of people. Your race is in your blood. It's like an extension of your biological family and you ought to be mindful of your European heritage and identity, just like every other racial group in America is aware of its identity. Why is it OK for them to have a natural sense of racial solidarity but it's evil for us Europeans to feel that way?"

The young "intellectual" rolled his eyes disrespectfully.

"Come on dad, that's the same kind of White supremacy that Hitler tried to peddle. Those racist attitudes were discredited years ago."

"Discredited by whom?" retorted the father.

"By emminent scholars like Professor Silverstein." replied George.

"He's an emminent buttwipe, that's what he is! He's selling you horsecrap and you're buying it!"

"No dad! He's a leading anthropolgist, and his book, "The White Plague", has been critically acclaimed by The New York Times, Newsweek Magazine, and the Washington Post. I realize you didn't get a chance to go to college dad....so you just don't understand these things. You're just a plumber! There's only one race and that's the human race. Diversity is our greatest strength. Who cares how much melanin we have in our skin? Differences in so-called "race" are as insignificant as differences in belly buttons. Race is only an articial social construct, nothing more. And besides, UN statistics now show that low White birth rates, immigration patterns, and the fact that we live in an increasingly multicultural society and global economy, will mean that Europeans and their ethnocentric and racist culture will have been blended out by the end of the century."

Turning red with anger, the father yelled: "You are a walking cliché you know that boy? Is this what I'm paying for? For you to learn that it's a good thing that the European peoples of the world fade out and cease to exist? Is that what you really want?"

Young George replied, "Yes! I think it's great! We are already down to just 9% of world population and falling. When we are all brown and yellow, it will mean the end of racism and the end of hate. The oppressed peoples of the world would have been better off if us racist White Europeans had never existed to begin with."

"What did you just say?! George's father asked.

"I said I wish us White people had never existed!

A wise old angel is sent to educate George.

And immediately following that statement, there came suddenly a blast of cold wind, an explosion, and a huge smoke cloud. When the smoke had settled, George found himself alone and lost in a cold forest. After a few seconds of confusion and disorientation, a frumpy old man then appeared out of nowhere. He leaned against a tree and spoke:

"Well, George, you've got your wish."

George asked: "Where am I? What's going on here? And who are you?"

The old man answered: "I'm Clarence P. Oddbody, Angel 2nd class. You've got your wish George. I was sent here to show you what the world would have been like if Europeans, or Whites, had never existed. You now live in a world where White people never existed. No 'dumb blondes' , no redheads, no brown heads, no blue or green eyed devils. Just blacks, browns, and yellows."

"Really? Wow! That's cool! I'll have no problem adapting because there's not a racist bone in my body. And when I get back to my world, I'll be able to tell Professor Silverstein and all my friends how wonderful this non-racist world was. Say, where exactly am I anyway?

"You're in what would have been Bedford Falls, New York, standing on what would have been your parents' home at 286 Grove Ave." replied Clarence.

George paused, then said: "Oh. I get it. There is no deforestation in a non White world. Unlike the rampaging Europeans, the native Americans were environmentally conscious. Nonetheless, I'm freezing out here. Where's the nearest motel Clarence?"

"Motel?" said the angel with a chuckle. "There are no motels here in what you once knew as North America. But there are some caves up in those mountains where you can find shelter."

"Caves?! No way dude. I want a nice warm bed to sleep in."

"I don't think you understand George. There are no buildings here in non-White America because the evil Europeans were never here to build them. Whites never existed, remember? The natives use tents for shelters - you know, "tee pees". Would you like to go meet some local Indians....excuse me...'Native Americans'? Perhaps they'll let you stay in one."

"A tent? But it's 10 degrees outside?...Oh well. It's better than a cave I suppose. Let's go talk to the local Chief."

Clarence and George walked through the cold and wet forest for about 30 minutes before George had a sudden thought.

"Wait a second Clarence. Are these Native Americans we are going to visit friendly or hostile?" asked George.

"Why, George, that's a racist question to ask. Just because some American Indian tribes were brutal savages who scalped their victims alive, it doesn't mean they all were like that." said the laughing angel sarcastically.

The Iroquois scalping of Jane McCrea.

"I know that, Clarence. And I'm not a racist. I hate racism! There is not a racist bone in my body. There is only one race and that's the human race. Diversity is our greatest strength. Nonetheless, I'd feel safer if I could have a gun to defend myself in case they try to...you know...scalp me alive."

"Gun?" replied the angel. "There are no guns for you to defend yourself with. Firearms were invented by evil Europeans. And besides, liberals like you want to ban guns. You could make a spear with those branches over there."

"Spears? That's too much work. I have a better idea Clarence! Give me a telephone. I'll call the local Tribe to ask if it's OK for me to come over and sleep there."

"Telephone?" replied the angel. "There are no telephones here. Alexander Graham Bell was another evil White man, so he never existed. No Europeans, remember?"

"Forget it, then," replied George. "I'll sleep in the damn cave!"

Upon arriving at the cave, a shivering George asked Clarence for a lighter so that he could light a fire.

"A lighter?" replied Clarence. "There are no lighters here, and no matches. Those are European gadgets, and evil Europeans never existed, remember? If you want to get warm, you need to do like the locals do and start rubbing twigs together."

"Oh come on, man! You mean to tell me these people still rub sticks together for fire?"

" 'These people'? What do you mean by 'these people'?" mocked the angel.

"Oh you know what I mean Clarence!"

"George. These Indians live exactly as they did before the evil White man arrived from Europe just a few centuries ago," said the angel.
"I refuse to stay in this cold cave, and I damn sure ain't gonna light a fire with twigs, and I refuse to sleep in a teepee! I'll go to Africa. I can make it in a warmer climate, and I'll adapt quickly to the great African civilizations that surely will have developed by now. Which way to the nearest airport?"

"Airport?" said Clarence. "There are no airplanes here George. The Wright Brothers, those evil White inventors of the airplane, were never born. This is a world without Whites, remember?"

"Oh." said George sheepishly. "How about a ship then?"

"Ships?" laughed the angel. "I'm afraid the most seaworthy rafts available to you won't be of much help in crossing the vast Atlantic Ocean. The great Viking sailors and European navigators never existed. No Phoenicians, no Leif Erikson, no Henry the Navigator, no Columbus, no Magellan, no Hudson and no Robert Fulton. Even if you could build your own ship, there would be no compass for you to navigate with and no sextant either. I'm afraid you're stuck here George."

George fell silent. Clarence then said: "OK George. I'll let you cheat a bit. Grab onto my magic coat tail and we'll fly to Africa."

"Cool!" said George.

When they arrived in Africa, George saw thousands of half-naked African tribesmen being herded along a dirt path. They were guarded by other Africans with spears.

"What are they doing to those poor men?" George asked Clarence.

"They are being enslaved by another tribe. Slavery was common in Africa long before the Whites arrived." Clarence said. "In fact, most of the slaves who were shipped to the Americas were sold to the mostly Jewish slave traders by African tribal leaders."

"This is an outrage!" George shrieked. "Take me to Dr. Martin Luther King. Since his evil White assassin never existed, this great man will still be alive. He's probably a great King somewhere, leader of an advanced civilization. He will free the slaves from their African masters. Take me to him, Clarence."

"George, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Take me to him now!" George shouted back.

"All right. All right. Follow me George."

Clarence led George to a little hut deep in the heart of Africa. The naked women and children gazed upon white George in wonder. Most of the young men were out on a hunt but the older men stayed behind. George was led to the hut of the tribal witch doctor and spiritual leader. There he saw a wild-looking man, covered in smelly animal skins.

"What the hell is that?" George asked.

"Dr. King" was not what George expected!

"Meet witch doctor Matuno Luta Kinga" Clarence said. "He never became Dr. Martin Luther King because there were no universities or seminaries built to educate him. Europeans weren't there to create such opportunities. But he did become the tribe's spiritual leader. He specializes in casting spells. Perhaps he can help you?"

The "doctor" gazed in wonder at George. Then he motioned to his henchmen to seize young George. The tribesmen grabbed George and tied him to a tree. .

"Stop it! Let me go! What are they going to do to me?" cried George hysterically.

"They're going to cut your balls off George. The good doctor King...I mean Kinga -- believes that by castrating you while you are still alive, it will bring good fortune and fertility to his tribe. Ah the benefits of modern medicine." laughed Clarence.

"Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence! Help me!"

"But George, you told me that you wanted to go to Africa and to meet your hero, Reverend King."

Terrified, George replied: "This part of Africa has not developed yet. I can see that now. Take me to North Africa where Egypt and Carthage established great civilizations. Just get me out of here! Please Clarence please! Clarence!"

Just as the witch doctor's blade was about to carve out George's testacles, George vanished into thin air. He then found himself on the banks of the river Nile in Egypt.

"Thank you Clarence. Thank you," George said. "I don't understand it Clarence. Why does so much of the world remain so brutal and primitive? I learned during Black History Month about many talented black inventors and scientists. Garrett Morgan, George Washington Carver, Benjamin Banneker, Granville Woods. Then there's Dr. Carson, the top brain surgeon in all of America. Where are these men?"

Clarence replied:

"Don't you understand yet? America, and Africa, exist exactly as they did before the Europeans discovered them. Civilization as you had known it had only been introduced to these people just a few centuries ago by the Europeans. There are no universities, no hospitals, no means of transportation other than animals, no science, no medicine, no machines. In fact, the wheel hasn't even been discovered in Sub-Saharan Africa! Those black scientists, inventors, doctors, athletes, and entertainers you speak of were never given the opportunity to realize their full human potential because Europeans weren't around to introduce higher civilization and learning to them. There are no George Washington Carvers in this non-European world, no Dr. Carsons, no Booker T. Washingtons, no Benjamin Bannekers, no Michael Jordans, no Oprah Winfreys, no Bill Cosbys, no Barack Obamas..."

"Stop it! That's a racist lie!" cried George. "Let's drive over to the great pyramids of Egypt right now and I'll show you one of the great wonders of the world .....built by non-Whites! Get me a car Clarence!"

'A car? asked Clarence. "There are no cars here. Daimler and Benz, the evil German inventors of the internal combustion engine, were never born...nor was Henry Ford. There are no paved roads either. This is a world without evil White Europeans, remember?"

"No cars! Damn! I'll just take a train to the pyramids then."

Clarence shook his head in wonder at George's stupidity: "There are no trains in this world either, George. Evil White Europeans weren't here to build locomotive engines or to discover the many uses of coal, oil and gas, or to build trains or lay tracks. But I'll allow you to cheat again. Grab hold of my magic coat tail and we'll take a short flight over to the site of the pyramids. You studied geography, so you direct me as we fly."

"OK Clarence. But before we go, I need to use the bathroom. Is there a pay toilet around here?"

"Toilets?" replied the angel. "There are no toilets or urinals in this world. Plumbing was developed by evil white Europeans. The people in this non-White world still relieve themselves in open fields."

"No plumbing?!" cried George

"Nope. Makes you appreciate your father, who is 'just a plumber' doesn't it George? Tell me George. Was it your precious Dr. Silverstein who taught you to have such contempt for honest hard labor?

George did not respond. He just looked down in shame. Clarence turned around so George could do his business alongside the river.

"I need some toilet paper." George said.

"Toilet paper?" replied the angel. "There..."

"I know. I know. Toilet paper hasn't been invented yet. Just hand me some leaves then!"

Clarence obliged. Then the two of them flew towards the pyramids. George observed:

"I don't understand. According to my recollections from Geography class, the great pyramids should be near this very spot. We ought to be able to see them from miles away."

... :arrow:




= Since Dawn Of Time The Fate Of Man Is That Of Lice =

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PostThu May 24, 2012 10:34 am » by Gonzo63

Wow. What a stupid oversimplification of history and a massive insult to Frank Capra.

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PostThu May 24, 2012 10:51 am » by Spock

Funny, the entire time I was reading this, I thought of you as George, Gonzo.
Around conservatives I sound like a liberal, and around liberals I sound like a conservative.

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PostThu May 24, 2012 11:42 am » by Hayden

" The Black man is not, any more than the White man" (F Fanon) Since both 'black' and 'white' are social contructions, neither exist except in the minds of the collective. See American History X for a more in depth examination. Peace.

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PostThu May 24, 2012 12:24 pm » by Chillitiger

Terrible article. Not even on the right track. Forefathers of all creeds have created great cultural centres of learning and living. You just do not here about it and that is the point!
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PostThu May 24, 2012 1:00 pm » by Flecktarn

thats harsh i like white people ,dose it count as white if i have a sun tan :lol:

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PostThu May 24, 2012 1:54 pm » by Perronick

It wasn't fair, logic or accurate and all the characters are dicks :lol:

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PostThu May 24, 2012 2:29 pm » by Akashicrebel

thank you white people for the blue eyes. because its even look better on blacks :D

to mix up is part of our nature as humans.

The nonplussed fabric of intellect is at inchoate state. any panache will be indefatigable unmartinate by the hoi polloi.

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PostThu May 24, 2012 2:42 pm » by Fatdogmendoza

Akashicrebel wrote:thank you white people for the blue eyes. because its even look better on blacks :D

to mix up is part of our nature as humans

Does this really bother anybody on Dtv...
Step forward and say why

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PostThu May 24, 2012 2:53 pm » by Akashicrebel

Fatdogmendoza wrote:
Akashicrebel wrote:thank you white people for the blue eyes. because its even look better on blacks :D

to mix up is part of our nature as humans

Does this really bother anybody on Dtv...

Step forward and say why

yea. step forward. since there is no race that called "the mix race" what ever you will say will not be "racist" thing to say even.

The nonplussed fabric of intellect is at inchoate state. any panache will be indefatigable unmartinate by the hoi polloi.


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