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PostThu Aug 08, 2013 7:29 pm » by Poppa_pygar


LMAO at Iron :lol:
If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass! Image

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PostThu Aug 08, 2013 8:47 pm » by Evildweeb


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Everyone is an Asshole


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collegehumor

Published on Aug 8, 2013

That's right, kids: people come in all shapes and sizes, but we're all assholes.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVJC0LJTYZc


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Living south of Kansas and north of Texas pretty much puts me in the middle of fu(king nowhere.

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PostThu Aug 08, 2013 8:58 pm » by The57ironman


Evildweeb wrote:.

Everyone is an Asshole


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collegehumor

Published on Aug 8, 2013

That's right, kids: people come in all shapes and sizes, but we're all assholes.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVJC0LJTYZc


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:banana:

:banana: :banana: :banana:

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

:dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing: :dancing:


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PostFri Aug 09, 2013 2:37 pm » by Slith


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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair

Sam Ewing

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PostSat Aug 10, 2013 6:48 pm » by The57ironman


Retirement Adventures

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me again asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing.

Talking about my "doing something useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking of me" and suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did this and when I got home last night I decided to teach her a lesson about staying out of my business.

I e-mailed her and told her that I had joined a parachute club. She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 70 years old, and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" I told her that I even got a membership card and e-mailed a copy to her.

She immediately telephoned me, "Good grief, where are your glasses!
This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
"Oh man," I said, "I'm in trouble again; I really don't know what to do... I signed up for five jumps a week."

The line went quiet, and then her friend picked up the phone and said that she had fainted.

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier but sometimes it can be fun.
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PostTue Aug 13, 2013 6:14 pm » by Slith


You know how they say some pet owners look a lot like their pets? Well, it's true.......




















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:nails:
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair

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PostTue Aug 13, 2013 6:51 pm » by The57ironman


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Let's have a laugh!

....or not... :peep:












The Stranger

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger
who was new to our small town. From the beginning,
Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer
and soon invited him to live with our family. The
stranger was quickly accepted and was around
from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my
family. In my young mind, he had a special niche.

My parents were complementary instructors: Mom
taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey.

But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would
keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures,
mysteries and comedies.


If I wanted to know anything about politics, history
or science, he always knew the answers about the past,
understood the present and even seemed able to predict
the future! He took my family to the first major league
ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The
stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem
to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of
us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet.


(I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions,
but the stranger never felt obligated to honour them.

Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home - not
from us, our friends or any visitors. Our long time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my
ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.



My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol but the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished.

He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing..

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were
influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he
opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked
.. And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved
in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly
as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.


His name ?....












We just call him 'TV.'
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PostWed Aug 14, 2013 1:37 pm » by Thruster


Too drunk to open the door. (the uploader fast farwarded the barrage of obscenities)

Don't worry ...help is at hand.


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PostWed Aug 14, 2013 3:31 pm » by Zer0


Actual drawing by a 3 year old:

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Master Raphael wrote:what you call the law of attraction was missing a vital aspect to the theory that I call the law of repulsion ...it is clear I drove the two of you together...using my repulsion not attraction

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PostFri Aug 16, 2013 1:58 am » by Harbin


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Antiwar.com


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