Magic penis' killing set for trial date

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PostThu May 26, 2011 6:39 pm » by Smokeydog


Malalane - A trial date is expected to be set on Thursday for 12 people arrested in connection with setting a pastor alight after accusing him of using a magic penis to sleep with women.

The nine men and three women, aged between 28 and 50 will appear in the Boschfontein periodical court in Mpumalanga on charges murder and arson.

The villagers, among them a community induna (headman), were arrested on February 24 after Albert Malwane, a pastor of the Izwi Zion Christian Church, was burnt to death a day before.

Mpumalanga police spokesperson Leonard Hlathi said that Malwane had been dragged from his one-roomed house in the Etitandini informal settlement near Jeppes Reef south of Malalane and taken to a hill, where he was set alight.

Malwane's house was also burnt and his wife and daughter went into hiding.

Community members had accused him of talking to animals and using an invisible penis to sleep with women in the informal settlement.

They also accused his wife of turning into a snail and terrorising the community.

The villagers also complained that Malwane's family had used muti to make then sick after Malwane's death.

One of the accused had to be carried into the Boschfontein periodical court when the 12 appeared in court on April 8.

Timothy Malwane, the father of the deceased, believes a curse was released at the pastor’s funeral.

The 12 accused have not been asked to plead.

lol @ magic penis

EPIC LOL @ They also accused his wife of turning into a snail and terrorising the community.

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/ ... e-20110525
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PostThu May 26, 2011 7:55 pm » by Seahawk


How do you suppose something like this starts? Someone says, "I know what it was that caused this!!! I know how he managed to cornhole all these women!!!! He has a magic penis!!!!!! Yes! Yes! That's what it is!!!! He has a magic penis!!!" And then a second person goes, " Ah- hah!!!! Yes!!! You're right!!! He has a magic penis!!!" And then a third joins in, like " Magic Penis!! He has a magic penis!!!' then a fourth says "Yes! I saw him talking to a cat!!!!" and "I'll bet that is wife turns into a snail and terrorizes the village!!!" and then pretty soon, you have 12 angry, amazed, and incredibly stupid people shouting "Magic penis! Talks to animals!!! Wife is a snail!!! Magic penis!!!! Burn him!!! Kill him and his magic penis!!!!" um, hmmmmm...........


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PostThu May 26, 2011 8:05 pm » by Smokeydog


lol that sounds pretty accurate i have no idea its actually hard for me to comprehend this is actually real
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PostFri May 27, 2011 1:04 am » by Bink02


Damn, someone jacked my magic penis and snail woman ...Is nothing sacred !!!!???

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers:
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PostFri May 27, 2011 1:44 am » by Slith


bink02 wrote:Damn, someone jacked my magic penis and snail woman ...Is nothing sacred !!!!???

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

Apparently nothing. Jeebus el Criesto
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PostFri May 27, 2011 3:27 am » by 99socks


It must be a meme. :mrgreen:

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PostFri May 27, 2011 4:07 am » by Flecktarn


make a good plot for a movie if everyone was high as a kite ,,,turning into a snail????

these people are missing something in there lives ,,,,,,,,,,,,,education :sunny:
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PostFri May 27, 2011 5:00 am » by Thebluecanary


99socks wrote:It must be a meme. :mrgreen:

Image



LMAO Sock you are my hero! I see images of this motherfucker on t-shirts worn by blue haired old ladies and hippies and little kids and I want to chase them, screaming

"He's a fertility god! That flute represents his PENIS! And he wants to put it in you, Maude and Hattie!" Makes me almost as sad as dreamcatchers.
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PostFri May 27, 2011 5:03 am » by 99socks


thebluecanary wrote:
LMAO Sock you are my hero! I see images of this motherfucker on t-shirts worn by blue haired old ladies and hippies and little kids and I want to chase them, screaming

"He's a fertility god! That flute represents his PENIS! And he wants to put it in you, Maude and Hattie!" Makes me almost as sad as dreamcatchers.



Oh gosh... It's all these super-liberal idiots who think it's "cool" and "showing respect" to other cultures, all the while insulting the heck out of people from these cultures....
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PostFri May 27, 2011 5:09 am » by Thebluecanary


99socks wrote:
thebluecanary wrote:
LMAO Sock you are my hero! I see images of this motherfucker on t-shirts worn by blue haired old ladies and hippies and little kids and I want to chase them, screaming

"He's a fertility god! That flute represents his PENIS! And he wants to put it in you, Maude and Hattie!" Makes me almost as sad as dreamcatchers.



Oh gosh... It's all these super-liberal idiots who think it's "cool" and "showing respect" to other cultures, all the while insulting the heck out of people from these cultures....


Even the damn American Indian Foundation catalog that we get for some reason sells dreamcatchers now. And the alleged indians two counties over use a war bonnet as their symbol...even though 1. They are not really any one tribe of indian, but rather a mix of races brought about by isolation 2. If they WERE an actual tribe of indian, they would not be any tribe which ever wore a feathered war bonnet.

I think it's almost a case of those symbols being so overused that they become hackneyed and meaningless.
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