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PostSat Jul 06, 2013 7:33 am » by ericmarr


Greetings Disclose, I was wondering When I get more of my book typed up. If you guys would like to read parts of it, To help me improve it..This is my very 1st book i`m trying to write..I was thinking its kind of right around what we talk about day to day...

Thought what better people to help me with a book about Earth and how it went down..Its called "Lost Spirits" I did it for a High School Paper..But never got to extend to far with it because..The teacher did not want a novel lol..But I have been working on it ....

All I have about 2 paragraphs typed..And about 3-4 pages from my high school paper..I know along down the road I will run out..So I thought Ill post it and see what you guys think it will need...

If not that is fine to.Oh if you do agree and such I have a thing with typing..I cannot see my typing mistakes very well :peep: , so if you see some just tell me were and such thank you

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PostSat Jul 06, 2013 7:47 am » by Seahawk


Go for it. :flop:


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PostSat Jul 06, 2013 11:53 am » by Zer0


Just post it, its the internet.. people are going to troll you no matter what you do. A rare few will give you feedback though. :flop:
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PostSat Jul 06, 2013 1:02 pm » by Webcat


Post and see what reactions you get - some may even offer constructive and helpful advice............. :shock: :mrgreen:

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PostSat Jul 06, 2013 3:22 pm » by Rizze


To help you with your writing:
Have you tried "Writer's Café take a look, Here
If you like it after the trial, give me a call here, and I will give you the full version for free.
I would love to see some of your writings, I enjoy new writers of any kind. :flop:
Don't go telling anyone else though :lol:

Writer's Café is a set of power tools for all fiction writers, whether experienced or just starting out. The heart of Writer's Café is StoryLines, a powerful but simple to use story development tool that dramatically accelerates the creation and structuring of your novel or screenplay.

USB drive
Fully portable - can run from a USB drive
Designed by published novelist Harriet Smart, Writer's Café also includes a notebook, journal, research organiser, pinboard, inspirational quotations, daily writing tips, writing exercises, name generation, and a 60-page e-book, Fiction: The Facts, distilling 20 years of writing experience.

Writer's Café is designed to be a playground for the imagination, making writing fiction fun and fulfilling. But it's also a serious tool for professionals, with highly configurable formatting, import/export and reporting facilities.
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PostSat Jul 06, 2013 4:48 pm » by Slith


Some of the very best thinkers on the net here. I know they would be more than willing to help. I, for one, would like to read your words.

Post away.
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PostSat Jul 06, 2013 10:37 pm » by ericmarr


" A gleam of light shone through a oval window reaching the floor. So ever slowly crawling across to reach the other side. The light reaches a wooden dresser upon it was a picture of a little boy with a beautiful woman and a stern looking man .Moving past the dresser and reaching
the edge of a sleeping person's bed..Sound asleep snoring lightly. The Sunlight moving up the sleeper nearly half way , But was beaten by a loud screeching high pitched sound from the side of the bed.The sleeper shifting from under his covers," Yawns" "Damn Alarm"says the man. Man then deactivates his alarm clock..then he yawns again. " What A weird Dream "Says the man. He then moves his hands up to his eyes and starts to rub them. Also giving another long "Yawn."
With a crackling sound the Intercom comes on " Captain Wolfius Report to the Bridge."After the intercom announcement Wolfius sits up on his bed and stretches out his arms, lifting the right one than left one up towards the ceiling. " I admit they are persistent ."Says Wolfius. Moving his head from side to side like that of a wet dog trying to dry itselfs off.
Afterwards he swings one leg over the bed to make contact with the floor. His bare skin of his foot reaches the cold smooth floor of the sleeping quarters.As a result Wolfius Shouts " Jesus Christ! Thats fucking colder than shit..." Wolfius then moves his foot back onto the bed and under the blankets to keep warm. “ I always forget how damn cold this Space Cruisers floors are..Now were or were are my slippers?” Says Wolfius.
Scanning the small cabin Wolfius did not see his slippers anywhere. He looked on the floor space between his bed and dresser.” Hmmm..Not Here not over there..Were could they be..I cannot be late again!..”Says Wolfius now getting frustrated.. A low mumble or soft growl sound comes from the corner of the cabin near the door. Wolfius looks towards the sound and sees that his Huskie Nina had them..
Wolfius now swings both legs over his bed onto the floor. “ Brrrrr... Its Freezing” He now stands up and start to stumble across towards Nina. “ Nina Wake up. How dare you take my slippers and let me freeze my poor feet off.”Nina looks up now awake and starts to pant putting even more slobber on the slippers..”You know what Nina I will go without slippers today..I want you to know i'll be freezing.BRrrrr.” Says Wolfius “ Bark Bark.” From a very intent and happy Nina who is now wagging her tail on the floor making a thumping sound."

This is my start its really boring right now,But will be getting more into it now,Webcat I will check into that and thanks..I know its not much now but will be typing more up.

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PostSat Jul 06, 2013 10:39 pm » by ericmarr


Rizze wrote:To help you with your writing:
Have you tried "Writer's Café take a look, Here
If you like it after the trial, give me a call here, and I will give you the full version for free.
I would love to see some of your writings, I enjoy new writers of any kind. :flop:
Don't go telling anyone else though :lol:

Writer's Café is a set of power tools for all fiction writers, whether experienced or just starting out. The heart of Writer's Café is StoryLines, a powerful but simple to use story development tool that dramatically accelerates the creation and structuring of your novel or screenplay.

USB drive
Fully portable - can run from a USB drive
Designed by published novelist Harriet Smart, Writer's Café also includes a notebook, journal, research organiser, pinboard, inspirational quotations, daily writing tips, writing exercises, name generation, and a 60-page e-book, Fiction: The Facts, distilling 20 years of writing experience.

Writer's Café is designed to be a playground for the imagination, making writing fiction fun and fulfilling. But it's also a serious tool for professionals, with highly configurable formatting, import/export and reporting facilities.

Ok I look at the place, but after I get a little more done :D

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PostSun Jul 07, 2013 3:42 am » by Slith


ericmarr wrote:" A gleam of light shone through a oval window reaching the floor. So ever slowly crawling across to reach the other side. The light reaches a wooden dresser upon it was a picture of a little boy with a beautiful woman and a stern looking man .Moving past the dresser and reaching
the edge of a sleeping person's bed..Sound asleep snoring lightly. The Sunlight moving up the sleeper nearly half way , But was beaten by a loud screeching high pitched sound from the side of the bed.The sleeper shifting from under his covers," Yawns" "Damn Alarm"says the man. Man then deactivates his alarm clock..then he yawns again. " What A weird Dream "Says the man. He then moves his hands up to his eyes and starts to rub them. Also giving another long "Yawn."
With a crackling sound the Intercom comes on " Captain Wolfius Report to the Bridge."After the intercom announcement Wolfius sits up on his bed and stretches out his arms, lifting the right one than left one up towards the ceiling. " I admit they are persistent ."Says Wolfius. Moving his head from side to side like that of a wet dog trying to dry itselfs off.
Afterwards he swings one leg over the bed to make contact with the floor. His bare skin of his foot reaches the cold smooth floor of the sleeping quarters.As a result Wolfius Shouts " Jesus Christ! Thats fucking colder than shit..." Wolfius then moves his foot back onto the bed and under the blankets to keep warm. “ I always forget how damn cold this Space Cruisers floors are..Now were or were are my slippers?” Says Wolfius.
Scanning the small cabin Wolfius did not see his slippers anywhere. He looked on the floor space between his bed and dresser.” Hmmm..Not Here not over there..Were could they be..I cannot be late again!..”Says Wolfius now getting frustrated.. A low mumble or soft growl sound comes from the corner of the cabin near the door. Wolfius looks towards the sound and sees that his Huskie Nina had them..
Wolfius now swings both legs over his bed onto the floor. “ Brrrrr... Its Freezing” He now stands up and start to stumble across towards Nina. “ Nina Wake up. How dare you take my slippers and let me freeze my poor feet off.”Nina looks up now awake and starts to pant putting even more slobber on the slippers..”You know what Nina I will go without slippers today..I want you to know i'll be freezing.BRrrrr.” Says Wolfius “ Bark Bark.” From a very intent and happy Nina who is now wagging her tail on the floor making a thumping sound."

This is my start its really boring right now,But will be getting more into it now,Webcat I will check into that and thanks..I know its not much now but will be typing more up.


Good stuff Eric. Watch the capitals after the quotes though. It's a continuance of the sentence, not a new one. Look forward to reading more. :flop:
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PostSun Jul 07, 2013 3:55 am » by RATRODROB


very good first attempt mate, perhaps a little over descriptive, 4 me anyway, but keep going with it, i want to know what happens when wolfius gets to the bridge. :flop:
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