LOVE.......

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Expand view Topic review: LOVE.......

Re: LOVE.......

Post by Bawdiemaude » Fri May 22, 2009 3:22 am

theshee wrote:
@ theshee how did you feel when you thought i was expressing an inability to love unconditionally- were you upset for me? or did you calmly send me love - it bothered you enough to respond....how has that affected how you view me?..what i mean is - we react and then react again- swinging as MUG explained.....searching for balance from one feeling to the antithesis...

I wasn't upset no, saddened yes and also yes I did calmly send you love. It hasn't effected how I view you in all honesty... I didn't get it, I couldn't read what you were saying, I didn't see the bigger picture you were writing probably because I have been in that saddened place and it took me back there so I seen THAT and reacted to it if that makes sense?!?!!


well im glad there are no hard bones between us...and i am not in a bad place at all.....even though reading what i wrote seemed to conjure a not so happy memory for you.......

its just trying to hold both sides of the coin...too easy to skip into 'prettiness' without the resonance of beauty...i dont like fake....and i tend to react a bit toooooo passionately when i smell it!!

dont you find in any 'healing' and 'spiritual' worlds there are a lot of ppl that talk the talk and really its the same form as the 'good girl' but in disguise......as they havent dropped into their darkplaces to really know themselves enough to love anyone else and so the talk is fake.

anyway - i appreciate that you sent me love and i will send you some back esp to ease the memories....

peace sister....... :sunny:

Re: LOVE.......

Post by Bawdiemaude » Fri May 22, 2009 3:14 am

lainn wrote:
bawdiemaude wrote:@ lainn

i will accept your 'i love you' as i assume implicit in it is 'i hate you'

and of course you are welcome to visit my studio any time- i think you will love it - its dirty raw chaotic but entirely liberating!!!!

and yes thanks for the inspiration - maybe ill name the piece of art after you.....!!

but do you have an alter ego? a dark side a character inside to balance the sweet aspect you present here? if you give me the name of that personality i will call the piece of art both names - for balance!!


alter ego?........yes.....and she's completely porno..i will whisper her name to you in a dream .....and if you don't receive as well as the samurai (MRoshi8)......i will give her to you upon walking through the doors of your chaotic studio....btw....this weekend ...yes?..our cuban friend remembers you quite well....you have stories don't ya Bmauade......for some reason i can't pm you back...i think i'm not the only one experiencing this.....



Lainn...yes this weekend- but this weekend is fast approaching- and how do we communicate?
She remembered me?? well that puts a fat smile on my face- i presume she remembers me because of my art- yes? ;)
ok - ill wait for the alter ego name when we meet ....and this is a character MORE porno than lainn???!!!!!!! :o

try the pm again!

Re: LOVE.......

Post by Cornbread714 » Thu May 21, 2009 11:01 pm

loveandlight wrote:people can be more complex than they seem.


That's a very astute comment and very well put.

Re: LOVE.......

Post by lainn » Thu May 21, 2009 10:59 pm

@ Theeshee.....yes....i don't know if it has anything to do with anything though....it was a moments flash....a blue blur that i was aware of....but i didn't cast much attention on it...it did not come to my recollection until i read what Hesop sent.....i don't know....how could it be possible if we all were trying to send...i don't know...the more i start to wonder about it i become confused.

Re: LOVE.......

Post by Loveandlight » Thu May 21, 2009 10:55 pm

if only everybody in the world had as much care and thought for others as you do lainn how good would this world be.
im am truly moved at your display of emotion to all of the people you have never met.

..and yes i could feel the love you expressed to us all....as slush said tho be carefull on the streets hun people can be more complex than they seem.
however in these times finding a soul such as your self is a rare but welcome sight ..
im sure by all of your previous posts that i have read that you are a very old soul with a lot of wisdom and you will be fine

if i had he resources to do what you have done today i would join you in your endeavor

passing all of that love and more right back at you lainn
love is the biggest gift of all
:hugging: :love: :sunny:
"the love you withold is the pain that you carry"

Re: LOVE.......

Post by Theshee » Thu May 21, 2009 10:47 pm

@ theshee how did you feel when you thought i was expressing an inability to love unconditionally- were you upset for me? or did you calmly send me love - it bothered you enough to respond....how has that affected how you view me?..what i mean is - we react and then react again- swinging as MUG explained.....searching for balance from one feeling to the antithesis...

I wasn't upset no, saddened yes and also yes I did calmly send you love. It hasn't effected how I view you in all honesty... I didn't get it, I couldn't read what you were saying, I didn't see the bigger picture you were writing probably because I have been in that saddened place and it took me back there so I seen THAT and reacted to it if that makes sense?!?!

@lainn WOW really!?!

Re: LOVE.......

Post by lainn » Thu May 21, 2009 10:38 pm

bawdiemaude wrote:@ lainn

i will accept your 'i love you' as i assume implicit in it is 'i hate you'

and of course you are welcome to visit my studio any time- i think you will love it - its dirty raw chaotic but entirely liberating!!!!

and yes thanks for the inspiration - maybe ill name the piece of art after you.....!!

but do you have an alter ego? a dark side a character inside to balance the sweet aspect you present here? if you give me the name of that personality i will call the piece of art both names - for balance!!


alter ego?........yes.....and she's completely porno..i will whisper her name to you in a dream .....and if you don't receive as well as the samurai (MRoshi8)......i will give her to you upon walking through the doors of your chaotic studio....btw....this weekend ...yes?..our cuban friend remembers you quite well....you have stories don't ya Bmauade......for some reason i can't pm you back...i think i'm not the only one experiencing this.....
after reading what Hesop has sent it seems to have been a success....i'm a bit taken back by it all...@Hesop....i'm fine and there is no misinturputation....no worries ;) .....@Roshi8....anytime samurai....will be sure to seek out that film..and i'll wait until the end....

@Theeshee....it's stupid....but i saw that blue butterfly whilst attempting ....i was afraid to mention...it freaked me out a bit when my mind tried to rationalize if there was a connection....anyways....nevermind.

Re: LOVE.......

Post by Bawdiemaude » Thu May 21, 2009 10:09 pm

@ lainn

i will accept your 'i love you' as i assume implicit in it is 'i hate you'

and of course you are welcome to visit my studio any time- i think you will love it - its dirty raw chaotic but entirely liberating!!!!

and yes thanks for the inspiration - maybe ill name the piece of art after you.....!!

but do you have an alter ego? a dark side a character inside to balance the sweet aspect you present here? if you give me the name of that personality i will call the piece of art both names - for balance!!

Re: LOVE.......

Post by Bawdiemaude » Thu May 21, 2009 9:58 pm

the moon has twisted its eye slightly awas from me.....and as a result my hormones have shifted.....

now i cant return to my burning passion - though i am still working on the gunk piece- i now have silver and white on there for a nice little juxtaposition and those wandering into my studio have said - wow its so beautiful...

anyway

Lainn you ask about victim... mmm i remember talkign about victim on some thread here.

and @ mug and @ lain
i think there is a similarity to what i was getting at about love and the concept of victim.....if the natural balancing is likened to our reactions to events that might possibly create the dynamic of ' victim/ perpetrator' then also we are swinging between the dynamic of 'love/hate'

@ theshee how did you feel when you thought i was expressing an inability to love unconditionally- were you upset for me? or did you calmly send me love - it bothered you enough to respond....how has that affected how you view me?..what i mean is - we react and then react again- swinging as MUG explained.....searching for balance from one feeling to the antithesis...

so

to answer your question lain and mug to be a victim or to be able to transcend personality to avoid the swinging pendulum of extremes- i think YES i want to transcend that.....

i dont want to view myself as victim or merely love....in that, in essence i am both love and hate and victim and perpetrator but all at the same time- duality being a human understanding..imo not the truth of the universe.
To BE in the fullness of who i am - my essence- i believe i have to hold both equally lightly.
victim/perpetrator and love/hate....of course these are just two examples......

but to that end- to transcend the 'balancing' i pray now, to live through my essence - not the structure of my personality......

i have really really tried to express this clearly- and i realise that maybe my smile and wild gesticulations might be why in real life my dear friends seem to understand me!! or maybe they are lying or just as crazy as i am!!!

Re: LOVE.......

Post by lainn » Tue May 19, 2009 2:28 am

bawdiemaude wrote:( i was so disturbed by this post - (what s wrong with me for gods sake?? i send love to murderers and rapist and i dont want to get close enough to them to smell their fart etc), but all the mush here prompted me to go to my studio and using the gunk from the bottom of my sinks start smearing it on the new mandala i made - my reason- i want to make the deposited, ignored and revilled - BEAUTIFUL for some reason it seems more real, meaningful and relevant than paintings of daisies? sigh but everyone loves paintings of daisies!!! );)


@Bmaude....i'm so pleased of the effect this thread had on you....i have read the last few post between you, roshi8 and theeshe.....i feel your question...feel it literally....i have learnt through my experinces of questioning and defining such a concept...an emotion ...that it cannot be defined....it is multi faceted and multi-dimentional as all in existence...a mothers love for a child is different than a childs love for its mother....man to woman...god to man...man to his god...that list is infinite.....yes ...it does possess properties of both light and dark i beleive...both etremes are filled with it one way or the other....simply....one can love to love and one can love to hate and all other varriations of that....it is another word lost in the semantics of its singular presentation....it is another word that is plural.....it gives me joy inside to know that though disturbed by all the mush presented...you found inspiration....to scrape the gunk from the bottom of your sinks for a new mandala....creation....a love granted through what has been given..if this is true then you have embraced it in your own way....it was my intent for this to reach whom it would have in what ever situation to manifistate what it was supposed to.....in the end...for you....creation again....i do hope you allow me to veiw it after our journey to the cays...it makes the meeting at this point smeard with an intriguing hint of purpose.....if i'm as bold to make an observation....because their was something else that resonated with what you wrote and your question.....360 degrees back around to feeling what you have written.....i feel that somewhere you have know and tasted what it means to have been a victim......i feel it because i have been granted this lesson of being one myself....if so...then we have more in common than we both know... i have a feeling that we are meant to meet.......we shall share our wine....and i shall know your spirit for my intent is to allow you to know my own.

btw....Baudiemaude..........
I love you......and through it all...i know you can live with that.

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