Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

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Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by Seriouscitizen » Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:40 am

Spock wrote:Don't spend one second on anyone that doesn't believe you measure up.

The life outside of a crappy relationship, of any kind, whether that be marriage, friendship, employer, or anything that you feel some sense of obligation to, is ecstatic. Sometimes it takes wallowing in misery, and going through the difficulty and pain of ending it, that makes you appreciate freedom and solitude so much more. And it takes being in those long enough to remember the misery during the good times, to protect yourself from allowing it again.

It's all just another addiction, and needs to be treated as such to avoid relapse.


Defenitely.

b.t.w. and NEM, I am not holding my love back to you. And i hope you know that by now, the mistake was on me to assume you knew that after me teling you several times. And i think the rest can know that too, because this is where there is a lot of miscommunication. Ive hold back, a lot but, only on the forum and only in pointing out the obvious. Out of respect for you and because i believe in the message of love even though i felt nothing but friendship and you knew that right from the start so stop pretending you found out here and now. everyone deserves a person that inspires him or her. And it doesnt have to be the first one to see beauty in you. its logicall for people to see the good sides when they look at life lighthearted. But dont mistake that for the ground base you need to base a relationship on.

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by Spock » Tue Oct 16, 2012 11:57 pm

Don't spend one second on anyone that doesn't believe you measure up.

The life outside of a crappy relationship, of any kind, whether that be marriage, friendship, employer, or anything that you feel some sense of obligation to, is ecstatic. Sometimes it takes wallowing in misery, and going through the difficulty and pain of ending it, that makes you appreciate freedom and solitude so much more. And it takes being in those long enough to remember the misery during the good times, to protect yourself from allowing it again.

It's all just another addiction, and needs to be treated as such to avoid relapse.

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by 99socks » Tue Oct 16, 2012 11:45 pm

These are my instincts....

:look:







Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence

These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.
They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.


Denial Patterns:

I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
I lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
I label others with my negative traits.
I can take care of myself without any help from others.
I mask my pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation.
I express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways.
I do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom I am attracted.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:

I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge what I think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.
I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
I constantly seek recognition that I think I deserve.
I have difficulty admitting that I made a mistake.
I need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and will even lie to look good.
I am unable to ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I perceive myself as superior to others.
I look to others to provide my sense of safety.
I have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
I have trouble setting healthy priorities.

Compliance Patterns:

I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
I put aside my own interests in order to do what others want.
I am hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings.
I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others.
I accept sexual attention when I want love.
I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
I give up my truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.

Control Patterns:

I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.
I freely offer advice and direction to others without being asked.
I become resentful when others decline my help or reject my advice.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I want to influence.
I use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.
I demand that my needs be met by others.
I use charm and charisma to convince others of my capacity to be caring and compassionate.
I use blame and shame to emotionally exploit others.
I refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
I adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.
I use terms of recovery in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
I pretend to agree with others to get what I want.

Avoidance Patterns:

I act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward me.
I judge harshly what others think, say, or do.
I avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a means of maintaining distance.
I allow my addictions to people, places, and things to distract me from achieving intimacy in relationships.
I use indirect and evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation.
I diminish my capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use all the tools of recovery.
I suppress my feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable.
I pull people toward me, but when they get close, I push them away.
I refuse to give up my self-will to avoid surrendering to a power that is greater than myself.
I believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.
I withhold expressions of appreciation.



http://www.coda.org/tools4recovery/patterns-new.htm

I'm claiming Fair Use on this one!!!

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by Cosmine » Sat Oct 13, 2012 11:11 pm

Newearthman wrote:Well...well...What do we have here...I think someone truely loves me, I can tell. All this coming out is just your desire to be with me and the frustration that you can't have my body next to yours.

To set the record strait, everything I posted online and all my actions and intent with S.C. was and is 100% honest and I still love her through her confusion. She is trying to justify by any means necessary that we are not meant to be together but the truth hidden behind Serious's curtain is that she is afraid to get her heart broken if she really shows her love towards me. Yes Anastasia brought us together and it's insulting to me that you say I just used it to fill some sort of alternate agenda on my part. You know I have never told another woman in my adult life that I love her...and when I say it to you I mean it and you know it. I still love you believe it or not because I know the true you...the one thats hidden away behind all the protective layers you have.

Love Chris!


:love:



Man, i too still love Stef, my eighteen years relationship whit her was a partial life time commitment,
But overtime things degraded, she became ultra violent as her vampire (psychic) nature took over.

I had too let her go! :hell:
Eight years pass by,and i didn't found a new mate.


Thank's for warning me that Asami was a "robot" she didn't hurt me as much as she might have. :evil:







:flop:





:cheers:

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by The57ironman » Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:49 pm

Image

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by Shemagh » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:38 pm

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe,
Who do we choose and who do we loose,
Is it Serious? or is it Nem?
or are either of them worth a score out of Ten.

Eeny Meeny Miny Moe,
Their entertainment has been fun, that's so.
We couldn't help but watch ('cause we're like that)
But now we must go,
'Cause sanity is worth more than a show!


O.K. it's not Poet Laureate stuff, but what do you expect on a Saturday night after a couple of stiff Vodka's!

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by Poooooot » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:38 pm

Lowsix wrote:
Newearthman wrote:Image

Lulz

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by Lowsix » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:29 pm

Newearthman wrote:Image

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by Newearthman » Sat Oct 13, 2012 8:50 pm

Seriouscitizen wrote:
Devin, my 9D guide, has told me many times that it is much harder to play the role of a villain than it is to play the role of a hero.

Read more: posting.php?mode=reply&f=6&t=79540#ixzz29AVNKC9B


I'm sorry NEM but i have to do a PACMAN on you.

So please don't try and save me. PLease save you from yourself.
Fucking hypocrit. New age nonsense, this coming from the guy hitting on me with Anastasia and also the same guy afraid of coming on an airplaine because it might crash. And also the same guy starting this whole online LOVE thing for the sake of spreading it, because he tought the world was coming to an end in 2012?

I never once said I thought the world was going to end in 2012 but if for some reason I die I know I can die happy for finding and pursuing love. We are always one breath away from death.

I never "used" Anastasia to hit on you, it's what drew me to you!


Seriously F U right now. Thank you for highlighting that, i actually filtered that the first time i read the whole thing. Thank You. AND FUCK YOU TOO.
I need to let al this fucking anger out in order to grow. YES thanks for the reminder.
I have been so fucking patient with you. I have even played your game on YOUR FUCKING REQUEST to reply to your DTV post even tho it didn;t feel right HENCE why i never actually said anything to actually confirm your so called TRUE LOVE, and i take full responsability for being the dumb fuck on that, thank you socks for stating the obvious. It was all you 'being romantic' NOR did i ever confrim this being TRUE LOVE on skype. THIS WAS ALL YOU WANTING ATTENTION. Same with the fucking song. remember me saying a hidden purpuse?

I assure you there is no hidden purpose and certainly no game being played, these are my true emotions!

If you fucking love me in a romantic way, act up like a man and just fucking love me.

I am.

And please start with yourself mister 'whatever makes you happy' I am already happy asshole. Even right now i am happy mad. YOU FUCKING DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. And stop blaming society and your fucking family, that are actually being the hero letting their 30 year old constant depressed son staying in their basement for free. I would be fucking gratefull for a mom like yours that actually cares for you. Spoiled brat. Its not mere the system. ITS YOU. fuck you for making fun of your overweight family too. selfrightious prick. show some fucking respect.

I never once made fun of my family, I merely shared with you how I felt about it.

Thats right you wanted an online thing.
I stayed on the fence letting the online thing play out for fucking to long out of respect for your feelings. BEcause i can't lie. Thats right i hate fucking lying. I think your an pussy ashole. some fucking hybrid. PLease install a mirrir in your fucking brain. ALL OF THIS LOVE TOWARDS ME WAS MERE YOU WANTING TO GET SOME FUCKING CONFIDENCE. YOU HAVE ALL THE TOOLS TO GET SOME FUCKING CONFIDENCE> YOU ARE AWESOME> BUT YOU ARE A PUSSY ASSHOLE TOO.

I already had confidence my dear and my feelings are free to be as they please, I can deal with it. My love for you is true!

And go ahaed make fun of me, make fun of my singleparent situation. You couldnt even make fun of my 8 year old daughter. SHE FUCKING OWNED YOU. You wouldnt even stand a change with her. Be my guest.
And you know what my community sevice job actually asked if I couldn't break another persons jaw so i could stay there. People love me because I love me. And I love them back. You are great everyone is great. We are all connected, US two too. AND YES I FUCKING BELIEVE IT.

Why would I want to make fun of you or your daughter? That just doesn't make sense! I happen to have a lot of respect for you and your family. I have never said anything negative towards you.

So thank you. AND this fucking formula its great and i dont even care right now if i didnt play completely by the rules. But i do have a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart right now.

I stand by my statment, it's complete :bullshit: I would say that to any one of my friends!

NEM I LOVE YOU. yes i might seem crazy, I am. I fucking love life. its crazy wonderfull. strange beautifull. fuck new age. I dont belive in god i know god. we all do. we all talk to him some without even knowing it. fuckint hate me for sayin it. i dont care. i fucking love myself. and you.


Love you too!
------------------------------

Thank you for showing me the contract in wich i agreed that you would show me that i should never DOUBT MYSELF. And that i can follow my feelings. And that i don't need to save any other PUSSY ASSHOLE again. I am gratefull that i did in the past. And i am gratefull for all the friendships that i got from it. But most of all i am gratefull for myseff.. Im happy i solved that piece of the puzzle

There is no contract and there is no puzzle!

THANK YOU

Your welcome :mrcool:

next

Re: Counter Thoughts and the Formula of Compassion

Post by Seriouscitizen » Sat Oct 13, 2012 8:33 pm

Newearthman wrote:Well...well...What do we have here...I think someone truely loves me, I can tell. All this coming out is just your desire to be with me and the frustration that you can't have my body next to yours.

To set the record strait, everything I posted online and all my actions and intent with S.C. was and is 100% honest and I still love her through her confusion. She is trying to justify by any means necessary that we are not meant to be together but the truth hidden behind Serious's curtain is that she is afraid to get her heart broken if she really shows her love towards me. Yes Anastasia brought us together and it's insulting to me that you say I just used it to fill some sort of alternate agenda on my part. You know I have never told another woman in my adult life that I love her...and when I say it to you I mean it and you know it. I still love you believe it or not because I know the true you...the one thats hidden away behind all the protective layers you have.

Love Chris!


:love:


:peep:



:lol: you see, you are awesome :D

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