Shocking Archaeology Discovery: Jesus Was A Girl! female?

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PostTue Nov 13, 2012 9:22 pm » by Mozi!!a


Shocking Archaeology Discovery: Jesus Was A Girl!

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Contemporary painting of the female Jesus

JERUSALEM- A team of archaeologists discovered artifacts near the wall in Jerusalem's ancient City of David that not only shows evidence that Jesus actually existed, but that "he" was a female. The amazing discoveries make it, not only the earliest known evidence for Jesus, but reveals that Jesus was actually a girl.

Carbon dating puts the artifacts at around 30 A.D. which makes this the earliest known evidence for an historical Jesus.

Zahi Mazar, the head of the Institute of Biblical Archaeology at the Shalem Center in Jerusalem and the leader of the dig, exclaimed, "We are amazed!," noting that a painting, a brass relief, and a cylinder object were found in the dig that is actually from a contemporary period, made during the life of Jesus. "It was something we did not plan on," Mazar said.

In describing the painting, Ephraim Balzar, a professor emeritus at Tel Aviv University, depicted the mural as, "Jesus with flowers in her hair, wearing a pearl necklace and a beaded anklet (ankle bracelet). And note Christ wearing the red lipstick." Also in the painting, "you can see a vertical ichthys that had a special meaning in ancient religions."

Ichthys is Greek for fish, and is represented by two intersecting arcs, commonly known today as the Christian Fish symbol. The Ichthys symbol was commonly depicted by pagans in a vertical fashion to represent the vagina, a symbol of the Great Mother' entrance to the womb. "You have to realize," Balzar said, "that the first Christians were pagans. And since they met and saw Jesus, they certainly would have known if she was a girl or not."

The painting also shows another woman, a worshiper or a secret lover, kneeling before the virgin Jesus about to pull a string that would open Christ's robe that would expose her naked body. This suggests that Jesus might have been a lesbian, but still a virgin because lesbians were not considered a threat to virginity.

The dirty little secret in Christian history is that Jesus has, many times, been shown as a woman. "This is no secret to the early Catholic priests," says Balzar. "In fact, Jesus as been reinterpreted as Mary, Christ's mother, to avoid the embarrassing consequences to Catholic congregations," said Balzar. "The virgin Mary is actually the virgin Jesus," claims Balzar, "and probably a lesbian."

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Jesus has always been portrayed wearing a flowing gown and long hair. There is also a lot of Biblical evidence that Jesus was a girl. The Bible forbids men to wear long hair (1 Cor. 11:14). Mark 14:51-52 describes Jesus following a young man with linen cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him. Then he (she?) left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked. "This makes sense if Jesus was a woman," says Mazar, "but if he was a man, then this would make him a homosexual and I don't think very many Christians would want to go there."

Then there's the passage where Jesus commanded his diciples to carry nothing in their purse (Mark 6:8). Since only women carry purses, this might suggest that the diciples were women too or that Jesus wanted them to dress up like girls.

It is also a little known fact that the Pope's pointed hat is a representation of Christ's genitalia. "If you look at the Pope's Mitre, you'll observe that it is in the shape of a vagina. This is to honor the sacred opening," explained Balzar. "You won't get a priest to admit this, of course, because it is a long held secret, and they will deny it if you ask them about it."



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This early Catholic Mitre (Pope's hat) shows a vagina shaped hat with a depiction of the sacred vulva of Christ. Even the clitoris is displayed with a red ruby. Today, the Pope's mitre is a toned-down version to avoid the sexual connotations, but it still retains the vaginal shape.

Interestingly, there was actually a woman pope, John Anglicus (also called Pope Joan or La Papessa), who reigned in the 850s. Pope Joan was known for her gigantic sacred vagina, thought to resemble Christ's vagina.


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Another artifact found next to the painting provides further proof of Christ's female nature. A brass relief, depicting a "Yoni" figure as Christ as the central figure was found in excellent condition. Yoni is a Sanskrit word for "divine passage," or "place of birth. "This is as close to proof that Jesus was a woman as you can get," said, Balzar.

Alongside the brass relief was found a brass phallic shaped object (photo omitted because of its sexually obscene nature). Several archaeologists suggested that it was used as a kind of dildo which was inserted into Christ's vulva during religious ceremonies. Mazar explained, "No doubt that it produced a sudden epiphany among the faithful."

Mazar's archeology dig also revealed evidence that the artifacts were located in an ancient brothel, next to the wall. That suggests that Jesus was probably a Temple prostitute. Crude graffiti was also found etched on the wall that showed graphic descriptions of sexual acts.

Extremely embarrassed by the discovery, professors from the Institute of Christian Archeology, in Lacosa, Texas, had another interpretation. According to professor Jeffery Clout, "Biblically speaking Jesus was probably both a man and a woman - a hermaphrodite. Matthew 19:4 says that at the beginning everyone was made male and female."

Clout also suggested that if he was not a hermaphrodite, then Jesus would have to have been either a transvestite or gay. "If Jerry Falwell were alive, I think he would have to agree that this new evidence shows that Jesus was a homosexual," claims Clout. "Remember that Falwall accused Tinky Winky of carrying a purse., wearing a triangle, and wearing purple, the color for gay people," remarked Clout. "Well, Jesus also had his disciples carrying purses. The triangle is a representation of the Trinity and Jesus also wore a purple gown (see Mark 15:17. John 19:5)." Clout added, " It's also thought that the disciples referred to Jesus as "Christy," not as Christ, as the tradition goes."

Clout also observed that the reason why so many Catholic nuns are lesbians, is because they actually worship the Jesus of their sexual desires. "They even marry Jesus, but because the Church forbids homosexual marriage, they cover it with a facade, thus they call Jesus a man but really they know 'he' is a woman of passion," Clout explained. But Clout added, "In the end, I still think Jesus was a hermaphrodite, because that would explain all the evidence, not just some of it."

Other professors disagreed, suggesting that the Catholic raised Clout wanted Jesus to have a penis to avoid a purely feminine interpretation. "You see," said, Mazar, "The Catholic religion requires its priests to have a penis, and if you introduce a girl Jesus, this could have severe consequences to the 'women-in-the-pulpit' argument." "And note," added Mazar, "the woman-in-the-pulpit" is also a euphemism for the clitoris."

Read More :rtft:
http://www.nobeliefs.com/washingtonnews/JesusGirl.htm

Virgin Mary (mother of Jesus) lol
Mary (Hebrew: מִרְיָם, Miriam; Aramaic: Maryām; Arabic: مريم, Maryam), variously called Saint Mary, Mother Mary, the Virgin Mary, the Theotokos, the Blessed Virgin Mary, Mary, Mother of God, and, in Islam, as Maryam, mother of Isa', was an Israelite Jewish[1] woman of Nazareth in Galilee who lived in the late 1st century BC and early 1st century AD, and is considered by Christians to be the first proselyte to Christianity. She is identified in the New Testament[Mt 1:16,18-25][Lk 1:26-56][2:1-7] and in the Qur'an as the mother of Jesus through divine intervention. Christians hold her son Jesus to be "Christ" (i.e. the messiah) and God the Son Incarnate (see Trinitarian monotheism), whereas Muslims regard Jesus as the messiah and the most important prophet of God sent to the people of Israel (and the second-most-important prophet of all, after Muhammad).

The canonical gospels of Matthew and Luke describe Mary as a virgin (Greek παρθένος, parthénos).[2] Traditionally, Christians believe that she conceived her son miraculously by the agency of the Holy Spirit. Muslims believe that she conceived by the command of God. This took place when she was already betrothed to Saint Joseph and was awaiting the concluding rite of marriage, the formal home-taking ceremony.[3] She married Joseph and accompanied him to Bethlehem, where Jesus was born.[4] In keeping with Jewish custom, the betrothal would have taken place when she was around 12, and the birth of Jesus about a year later.[5]

The New Testament begins its account of Mary's life with the Annunciation, when the angel Gabriel appeared to her and announced her divine selection to be the mother of Jesus. Church tradition and early non-biblical writings state that her parents were an elderly couple, Saint Joachim and Saint Anne. The Bible records Mary's role in key events of the life of Jesus from his conception to his Ascension. Apocryphal writings tell of her subsequent death and bodily assumption into heaven.

Christians of the Catholic Church, the Eastern Orthodox Church, Oriental Orthodox Church, Anglican Communion, and Lutheran churches believe that Mary, as mother of Jesus, is the Mother of God (Μήτηρ Θεοῦ) and the Theotokos, literally Bearer of God. Mary has been venerated since Early Christianity.[6][7] Throughout the ages she has been a favorite subject in Christian art, music, and literature.

There is significant diversity in the Marian beliefs and devotional practices of major Christian traditions. The Catholic Church has a number of Marian dogmas, such as the Immaculate Conception of Mary the Perpetual Virginity of Mary, and the Assumption of Mary into Heaven. Catholics refer to her as Our Lady and venerate her as the Queen of Heaven and Mother of the Church; most Protestants do not share these beliefs.[8][9] Many Protestants see a minimal role for Mary within Christianity, based on the brevity of biblical references.[10]
A series of articles on
Mary

mother of Jesus

Chronology
Presentation of Mary
Annunciation · Visitation · Virgin Birth · Nativity · Presentation of Jesus · Flight into Egypt · Finding in the Temple · Cana · Crucifixion · Resurrection · Pentecost

Marian Perspectives
Roman Catholic
Eastern Orthodox • Anglican • Lutheran • Protestant • Muslim •

Catholic Mariology
Mariology • History of Mariology • Papal teachings • Mariology of the saints

Dogmas and Doctrines
Mother of God • Assumption • Immaculate Conception • Perpetual Virginity

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_%28mother_of_Jesus%29

:lol:
Men determine the sex of a baby depending on whether their sperm is carrying an X or Y chromosome. An X chromosome combines with the mother's X chromosome to make a baby girl (XX) and a Y chromosome will combine with the mother's to make a boy (XY).
http://www.science20.com/news_releases/ ... says_study
:peep:

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PostTue Nov 13, 2012 9:39 pm » by KMA


nonsense

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PostTue Nov 13, 2012 9:55 pm » by Slith


lmao. I think he is referred to as a he in scripture, non?
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PostTue Nov 13, 2012 10:12 pm » by Willynumbnuts


Total bollocks I'm afraid - like a lot of 'conspiracy' theorys.

Given the time/age line of the historical 'Jesus' no one would have listened to a 'female' jesus.

It was a male dominated culture and only males were listened to.

The bibical and historical evidence is overwhelming that Jesus was male.

We may as well try to rewrite history with the Titanic as a Boeing 747 that hits a spacecraft and crashed into the north atlantic. A nice post, but more facts can be found about the 'teletubbies' running a brothel!

Sorry!

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PostTue Nov 13, 2012 10:18 pm » by Kaarmaa


The dirty little secret in Christian history is that Jesus has, many times, been shown as a woman. "This is no secret to the early Catholic priests," says Balzar. "In fact, Jesus as been reinterpreted as Mary, Christ's mother, to avoid the embarrassing consequences to Catholic congregations," said Balzar. "The virgin Mary is actually the virgin Jesus," claims Balzar, "and probably a lesbian."


Demobe, you just made a Jesus follower of me ! :flop: :cheers:


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PostWed Nov 14, 2012 11:30 pm » by Mozi!!a


Kaarmaa wrote:
The dirty little secret in Christian history is that Jesus has, many times, been shown as a woman. "This is no secret to the early Catholic priests," says Balzar. "In fact, Jesus as been reinterpreted as Mary, Christ's mother, to avoid the embarrassing consequences to Catholic congregations," said Balzar. "The virgin Mary is actually the virgin Jesus," claims Balzar, "and probably a lesbian."


Demobe, you just made a Jesus follower of me ! :flop: :cheers:


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hehehe :mrcool: :wink: :flop: :cheers:

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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 8:05 am » by mediasorcery


This is a very funny post mobe, i cant believe anyones taken it seriously lol.
the story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye, until we meet again my friend.

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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 8:31 am » by Eldorado


Ill probably be hearing this from the huge lesbian population here at some point in the near future.....

Gotta give it up to the Jews to make up a story like this after Crucifying him........ :lol:

Zahi Mazar, the head of the Institute of Biblical Archaeology at the Shalem Center in Jerusalem, Ephraim Balzar, a professor emeritus at Tel Aviv University,


In keeping with Jewish custom, the betrothal would have taken place when she was around 12,



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