The cucumber in your garden is an Alien life form

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PostThu Nov 14, 2013 2:39 am » by Toxic32

If you just found out that the cucumber in your garden is an Alien life form visiting this planet to carry out a research program on how to avoid destroying other life forms with out first making contact and finding out if they are Benin or malignant. Understanding doesn't have to be founded in ignorance.
I like to shuffle the cards. Apperthy is a killer.

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PostThu Nov 14, 2013 2:48 am » by Constabul

They seems to have a vary lucrative career in the porn industry.

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PostThu Nov 14, 2013 3:11 am » by Mydogma

shit i guess my wifes been cheating on me not sure how i feel about it...well i guess its just an alien hope she doesn't read my post...haha...just kidding dear...
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PostThu Nov 14, 2013 8:18 am » by RATRODROB

Fckn alien cucumbers, I just went through my fridge and chucked all the fckers out, then I chucked out the zucchinis as well because im not sure which one is which, zucchinis and cucumbers all look the fckn same, :nails:

that's it, im gonna chuck out the green bananas too, just in case, :o

Anyway TOX, what would you do if YOU found an alien cucumber in ya garden......................... :headscratch:

Why the fck are we havin this conversation.................???????.......................... :think: hahahaha

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PostThu Nov 14, 2013 8:47 pm » by Kinninigan


did you know the smell of cucumbers makes women sexually aroused? maybe the aliens are here to steal our women :o

Essay #3- The Smell of Cucumbers Can Arouse Women?!

February 16, 2009


“Unlike the other senses, smell needs no interpreter. The effect is immediate and undiluted by language, thought or translation. A smell can be overwhelmingly nostalgic because it triggers powerful images and emotions before we have time to edit them.” -Diane Ackerman

The Smell of Cucumbers Can Arouse Women?! When selecting a mate, males and females tend to attract toward those who take care of themselves. Those who clean up themselves by showering, brushing their teeth and smell good. Nothing is worse than a bad date with someone who smells awful. When becoming intimate with another person it is said that some “aromas can help stimulate sexual arousal” MicroNutra Health (2008). Some of the obvious sweet smelling aromas like vanilla, fruit and flowers come to mind when you want to drive your partner wild. Women and men tend to think that these sweet scents are the key to pleasure in the bedroom. They soak themselves in scents of strawberry and other fruits because the sweetness may be luring. However, one not commonly thought of fruit may drive your female partner more wild than any other scent: cucumber. Cucumbers are considered a fruit because they have developed from flowers and encase seeds. Writer Bethany Heitman from the magazine Cosmopolitan states, “…fascinating news: Researchers have discovered that the smell of cucumber-that’s right, cucumbers- makes women aroused” (p. 193). Who would have thought that this fresh smelling fruit with their hint of a mild sweetness and bitterness would make your female partner so aroused? Cucumbers seem like the least likely fruit to pick because we often find ourselves more intrigued by the scents of much sweeter fruits . I know personally I would not think the scent of cucumber would be a scent to help attrack the male population. What about this scent triggers our nerve sending the message to our brain making us aroused? Let’s go back to the basic overview and see how our nose even detects scents.When you smell something, sweet or stinky, the aromas flow up into your nasal cavity where they pass the cilia first. The cilia are tiny hair-like projections that come out of your nasal wall. They play the role in blocking any foreign objects, like dust, from further traveling up into the nasal cavity. Once the smell gets past the cilia and the mucus, it hits your olfactory nerve. The olfactory nerve helps distinguish smells and sends a signal to your brain. The brain is where you discover the meaning of the scent as sweet, bitter, stinky, fresh or any other scent. Ackerman (1990) noted that humans, we “can detect over ten thousand different smells” (pg.1). It is so amazing how this all happens and we have the capability to distinguish so many different scents. How is it that the scent of cucumbers stimulate women? These pheromones have a way with triggering our blood flow and making sexual desire more exciting. The freshness of cucumbers has been shown to increase vaginal blood flow to the clitoris and aroused them by thirteen percent (Sexy Scents, 2009). Other scents like banana nut bread, cherry , the candy Good & Plenty and baby powder have had the same increasing effect on women. These scents will drive women to be more turned on and happy, making things in bedroom more exciting for couples. Men are aroused by scents too. Men and women are said to be aroused by the aromas of pumpkin pie or lavender; these scents are said to increase sexual drive as well. The combination of pumpkin pie and lavender increases pleasure in females by eleven percent (Sexy Scents, 2009). The word aphrodisiac means, when food, drug, potion, or other agent that arouses sexual desire (, 2009). This topic has become very popular over recent years. Many are becoming more aware and interested in this phenomenon. Couples are trying to spice up their bedroom lives with these tricks. While chocolate has seemed to be the most popular, studies have shown it to be different. Foods, like cucumbers, have a greater affect on women. More research is being looked into about different aromas and their effects with our sexual well being. While most men wear cologne hoping to attract the scent of a significant other, studies have shown that men’s cologne actually decreases women’s arousal by one percent (Sexy Scents, 2009). Mixing of fragrances though, like pumpkin pie and lavender have shown more dominate results. So instead of drenching yourself in scents like Axe or Abercrombie try using more natural and luring smells of fresh lavender or cool cucumber to create a greater effect on your partner, especially towards women. Most of the time men and women do not realize that the perfume or cologne they are wearing will create such an effect on the opposite sex. Sometimes we just spritz ourselves with flowering aromas just to feel good about ourselves or it just becomes a habit. In order to make others feel good we must feel good about ourselves. Men and women rely on these products on the market to make us smell good and desirable. Choosing the right scent seems impossible sometimes because there is an aray of aromas to pick from. With this knowledge now learned men and women can go out and find a scent that will really drive the opposite sex wild. Trying to spice things up in the bedroom is something all couples would be interested in trying. As Diane Ackerman says in her book, A Natural History of the Senses, “Because women have often been responsible for initiating mating, smell has been their weapon, lure and clue”(pg.44). Ackerman goes on and tells us a story about how women in the Elizabethan Era used to stick a piece of apple peel under their armpits and give it to their lovers. They were known as love apples. The apple would hold the saturation of their ladies sweat so he may smell it for days of being apart. Food and smell have been closely related when it comes to intimate matters. A lot of our fragrances today try to imitate the smells of foods, like fruits, to lure the other sex in. So, the next time you are out meeting girls or with your loved one you should consider splashing a little bit of a cucumber smell, such as Bath and Body Works Cucumber Melon scent, and see if you attract any women. Make it your little test to see if these scents really make an impact. If you have a partner make the test for the both of you, you wear a scent she desires and she wears a scent that you desire and see where that may lead. Ackerman (1990) “We don’t need it to survive (smell), but we crave it beyond all reason…” (p. 38) ... use-women/


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PostThu Nov 14, 2013 9:53 pm » by iamanalien

well 1 did give me a damn good anal probing once ,then it turned a different color, like a lizard its skin started to wrinkle.

I knew it was alien to me... :owned:

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PostThu Nov 14, 2013 10:05 pm » by Toxic32

I'm in the process of throwing together pumpkin pie, lavender, cucumber, banana, nut bread, cherry, candy and a pinch of baby powder. All gone into the blender. I'll spray it around the place to see if has any effect. I'll have my work cut prying the TV remote out of her hand but I'm willing to give it a go all in the name of science of course.

Sounds like I'm in for an interesting evening.
I like to shuffle the cards. Apperthy is a killer.

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