What are/is your hidden useless skills

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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 10:57 am » by Toxic32

99socks wrote:I can shoot six arrows at a spot the size of a nickel at 20 yards... And they all fit.

So where is the Olympic medal hung in your pad then? Do you use a proper bow like this.


Or do you use one of these fire and forget mother fucker. With optional extras?


This gets you this result.

Image Image

http://titan-creative.net/wp-content/up ... 2i6ujj.jpg

Just a bit of fun. Dead eye.
Last edited by Toxic32 on Thu Nov 15, 2012 11:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 10:57 am » by Spock

Damn Sock, I'm jealous as fuck. Are you just freakishly good at it in an unnatural, anti-christ kind of autistic way, or do you practice a good bit?

I haven't shot a bow since I was in middle school, and yes, I was plagued back then with the raw forearm burn.
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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 12:13 pm » by Fatdogmendoza

Arella wrote:I see patterns which was a useless skill until i found something to channel it in to.


How about starting a thread, using your skills and making us all wealthy.. :) ,

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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 1:50 pm » by Edgar 2.0

I don't have any :lol: :oops: :cry:

But both my son and one grandson are ambidextrous, though...

I wish i'd have one. Grandchildren usually love that.

I don't know if that counts, but i excelled in conlangs when i was younger. I could invent a new language in the matter of minutes. :D

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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 2:11 pm » by Poooooot

Mydogma wrote:understanding sports

:lol: Now THIS is a useless skill :twisted:
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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 2:52 pm » by Bleever

Lowsix wrote:
99socks wrote:I can shoot six arrows at a spot the size of a nickel at 20 yards... And they all fit.

Ok..so I talked a lot of shit that day..
so its..only fair to make a 'hat in hand' kinda post..

(i hate makin these by the way)…but it was earned.


I mean of course, i could make this simple..by simply saying…
yes..i vouch for Socks above statement..
"she can put six arrows in a nickel sized target"..

but honestly, that wouldn't do it justice.

She can. yes, but this is a little more.
She deserves this…telling.

So heres my attempt.I have to tell the full story.
I did ask permission first, however...

So…we get in the car…and as you all know, she's talked about being a good shot at archery..and then of course, there is the avatar..well, all of them.
I sorta thought..well…girly girl shit..archery …woman archer, yeah yeah.
She can hit the paper. (or really, Low..hit the paper?)

So i tell her..no pressure ok.
i mean, I say..im pretty good on all kinds of shooting ranges, and that while im sure she can pop the target, not to get too frustrated.
Frustrated how? she asks.. Well…frustrated by the fact that Ill probably muff the first ten arrows or so, but after that..I will shoot within the ballpark of anything she pulls off.

She smirks.

i want to blow the smirk off, but i get that funny feeling in my stomach..
I ignore it. Im GOOD at this kinda shit. i know this.

So we get to the range.

She lets me go first.
FUCK YES, i think…

I let off my first six, and patiently wait for the range captain to call "All Clear". I head downrange to retrieve my arrows…and um. theres something wrong.
Where are my arrows? I ask. Over there..and she point the target in the adjacent lane There are four arrows sticking proudly in my neighbors target. I sheepishly apologize, and pull my stray arrows from the paper. Ok..i ask..so where are the other two? She replies..well..one is up in the hay. Up there> And points about four feet above my target. Well..ok, so what about the sixth arrow? i ask.

She ..that godamn smirk again…points near the ceiling….at the air conditioner.

its up there, stuck firmly in the air conditioner. But ill get you a stool so you can get the arrow back, she says.
My face…is getting..erm..hot. Like red hot. I hit the fucking AIR CONDITIONER? Yes, she says quietly. Ok so we get the arrow back.
*(thank you btw..for saying it quietly) Six sets later, and i can barely hit the paper. Im godamn mortified.

Its time for a cigarette. I tell her its because i don't want her to feel pressure from me watching her shoot her first set.
Sees sees thru it, i think. Nods ok.

I come back just in time to see her shoot her second set.

There are twelve lanes of archers. And it is DEAD fucking quiet on the shooting range.
8 students in a class, two teachers, and a really good-looking but utterly out of his fucking mind,
young crazy Russian guy who has been there for THREE hours practicing.

(i already don't like him very much) I see him looking at her with "that look".
I REALLY don't like him now. Hes starting to flirt..asking dumb questions..like.."how did you do that"
…can you show me how to shoot,etc…..blah blah asshole..go away, i think to myself.…
i would like to shoot him in the back with a hunting arrow.

So i sit back, and don't let my presence be known…and i notice…the quiet. Everyone has both eyes…firmly on our sockpuppet.
And by her third arrow, the instructor in the lane next to us…pulls out his godamn Iphone and steps back, and starts filming.
Excitedly telling his student that he is making a training video for him. That he is in fact, Filming Sockpuppet, take her shots.
Filming her posture, release and follow thru. (my cheeks are burning again)
..as he states to the young russian..i have good film for you. You learn from this. THIS is how you shoot ok?

She puts the remaining arrows into a two inch circle.
She does this four more times in a row.
Im so proud and humiliated at the same time, im in danger of exploding.
A fine red spray type of explosion.

ok so i don't know how many of you shoot anything..…but twenty five yards is seventy five feet. And two inches is less than the length of your thumb. And she puts ALL SIX arrows into the bright fluorescent circle the size of a FUCKING AMERICAN NICKEL.. A circle, which i might add, i can barely see at 25 yards.
I shoot six inch groups at 25 yards with a pistol with NIGHT SIGHTS.
She does this with the sexiest compound bow vie ever seen.
over..and over…and over again.

I want to call fluke..but im afraid to say anything.
She puts her next EIGHTEEN fucking arrows into that two inch circle with approximately 3 flinches.
these are legit flukes.

I don't even know what to fucking say at this point.
The targets are 18x24 inches, and i missed THE ENTIRE FUCKING PAPER…
and shes putting them into the heart circle of any game animal alive.
I also shredded my forearm with the bowstring. Im in a ridiculous mount of pain. trying to smile thru it.

SO Sock… HAH! you lose the "useless skill award".
That sorta shooting is definitely fucking useful. You are in charge of "food" when the shit hits the fan.

Sock, hun…..please let me admit, in front of everyone..that you humbled me harder than i'ev been humbled in probably 20 years, that afternoon with your spectacular shooting, poise and confidence. You had every single man in that room, in silent, and bemused, and slightly aroused awe..and to this day, im trying to sort out the conflict between, pride, admiration and utter humiliation…to vouch for you 100%.

That was one of the hottest things i've ever seen in my adult life.

You are astoundingly skilled and disciplined with that bow, and my hat is off...
All the way off…like leonard's hat, when he swept it in submission to the crowd that gave 7 standing ovations.

You have earned my complete and total respect with your skill…
and for going so light on me after all the shit taking i did…

i thank you.

you, lady..are fucking legit.

And… classy for letting me off the hook in front of all those strangers..instructors
and the ridiculously good looking russian dude who had designs on getting in your pants..

Fuck him…he couldn't hit the paper either.

Sorry I deleted my post b/c I felt I wasn't being kind...nice story telling...
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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 3:04 pm » by Aragajag

I can grow a beard on my arse hair not like them sissy faced full beards.
Pablo Neruda:
…and now, nothing more,
I want to be alone with my essential sea…
I don’t want to speak for a long time,
Silence! I want to learn,
I want to know if I exist.

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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 3:04 pm » by Lowsix

Bleever wrote:
Sorry I deleted my post b/c I felt I wasn't being kind...nice story telling...

Was just about to ask..bc that felt sorta like a zinger.
Sorta caught me offguard a little...

yeah im sorry..
Wasnt trying to make anyone uncomfortable..
so im confused..

and wtf was I doing?

Like I said...just telling a story that i thought would vouch for her claim.
Wondered if i shoulda just left it at "yeah she can shoot"


*real confused.
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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 3:15 pm » by Slith

Aragajag wrote:I can grow a beard on my arse hair not like them sissy faced full beards.

Too much info Arag



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PostThu Nov 15, 2012 3:15 pm » by Aragajag

OOOps stepped into the doodoo here, I will just back out and close the door.
Pablo Neruda:
…and now, nothing more,
I want to be alone with my essential sea…
I don’t want to speak for a long time,
Silence! I want to learn,
I want to know if I exist.


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