Why conspiracy theorists are seen as nut jobs

[Perry LaGuardia Profile]

Firstly did you know The first conspiracy theory ever recorded was discovered in a cave in Lascaux, France in 1924. While experts disagree somewhat on the fine details of the cave drawing in question, the general consensus is that the drawing claims the dinosaurs were robots sent from the future.


The last 11 Super Bowls never happened.

Soon after the 9/11 tragedy, the U.S. received a serious and confirmed terror threat warning of a bombing at an upcoming Super Bowl, but not specifying which one. Rather than the U.S. cancelling all subsequent Super Bowl events entirely, which would have greatly upset corporate sponsors and led to mass suicides among heterosexual males in the Midwest and South, the game has been secretly replaced by Madden NFL video game graphics every year since 2002. Thanks to the incredibly life-like gaming technology developed by EA Sports, TV viewers the world over never question the authenticity of what they’re watching, allowing all Super Bowl ads to be broadcast without a hitch during breaks while ensuring the safety of players, coaches and cheerleaders. Fans who try to order tickets to the actual Super Bowl are paid $5,000 each and given a lifetime supply of kielbasa to pretend they attended the game and to keep their mouths shut about the truth.

As for the ever-popular halftime show, it is filmed in a secret location weeks before the game is “played”, with performers encouraged to do stupid sh-t like flick viewers the bird or flash a nipple to make the “live” aspect of the show more convincing.

Columbus had a secret fourth ship — The Ay Papi.

Everybody knows about how, in 1492, Columbus set sail for what turned out to be the Americas with his three now legendary ships: The Niña, The Pinta, and the Santa Maria. What has been kept out of the history books, however, is that a less illustrious fourth ship — The Ay Papi — was very much involved in the famed voyage.

Where the first three ships carried an all-male crew of adventurous sailors, The Ay Papi carried 50 of Spain’s highest-priced prostitutes, each appointed by King Ferdinand to keep the men from raping one another and disrupting the discovery of the New World. Unfortunately, most of the sailors contracted syphilis and subsequently went mad, including Captain Columbus himself, which explains why he insisted he had landed in Asia when he had in fact “discovered” The Bahamas.


So fatdogs conclusion is..... that conspiracy theories don’t actually even exist, but rather are a ploy by the Governments to distract you while it kidnaps babies for food and fuel. I’m not here to try to convince you either way. I just feel it’s unfortunate that the same five or ten conspiracy theories keep getting all the attention when there are so many others of equal intrigue that receive so little Internet coverage.


Just a bit of light relief

[Slith Profile]

That conspiracy theories don't actually exist is a conspiracy theory all in itself. Non?

[Perry LaGuardia Profile]

That conspiracy theories don't actually exist is a conspiracy theory all in itself. Non?

you got it in one oh wise slith bro hope you are wel

[Slith Profile]

That conspiracy theories don't actually exist is a conspiracy theory all in itself. Non?

you got it in one oh wise slith bro hope you are wel

Doing well sir, hope the same for you

[Seahawk Profile]

Lol. Funny, Dogg!!!

[Perry LaGuardia Profile]

Lol. Funny, Dogg!!!

Thanks Hawk


heres another one for you


"Contrary to all reports about a lone drifter named Mark David Chapman who allegedly shot John Lennon in the back December 8, 1980 you'll find ample evidence in the back issues of Time, Newsweek, and US News and World Report magazines to suggest otherwise. Namely, that John Lennon was, not only politically assassinated, but that Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan and, you'd better sit down, horror novelist Stephen King are the three people who can be proven guilty of the crime. King being the real murderer and Chapman but a look-alike, paid actor misleading you with an absolute hoax, the media in tow."

"The evidence, specifically, is government codes in the bold print headlines of Time, Newsweek, and U.S. News and World Report magazines that were printed shortly before, during, and after the night of December 8, 1980. Hints in the headlines that you won't find anywhere else that plug into John Lennon's assassination with up to 70% frequency at times. These government codes, which read like gallows humor; «Thinking About John Lennon...Johnny Comes Marching Home...Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang, Ouch, Ouch...The Job Richard Nixon Really Wanted...Blasting the Opposition...America Needs A Poet Laureate...Maybe...Heeding Those Subtle Signs...Magazine Maze...All the Presidents Magazines...». These codes include the killer's face and true identity printed three and two months before the crime replete with headlines describing the then yet to come crime scene: «One Great Big Zippo Lighter...Perils of Pyrokinesis». Pyrokinesis means fire and movement, and a man at night with a gun ablaze, crouched in a raincoat looks like a great big cigarette lighter. Subtle but dramatic codes."




And sadly this is how a majority of people see people who use forums like these

Just The Facts??

The average conspiracy theorist will argue with NASA, Nobel-prize winners and every expert in the world despite having fewer qualifications than the average fry cook.
Conspiracy theorists view logical argument as cheating.
Like pissing fetishes and tentacle rape comics, conspiracy theories are a problem made much worse by the Internet.
Never assume malice when incompetence will do.

An Ego Issue

Conspiracy theorists divide the world into "Everyone even remotely involved/qualified vs. Me," and decide that they'll win single-handedly. They're like Rambo with bullshit instead of bullets.

They tend to enjoy the ego-boost that comes with thinking of oneself as the only intelligent objector in a world of sheeple. When the government has to spend billions of dollars shuttling Elvis from Roswell to the Bermuda Triangle and back in black helicopters before you can feel good about yourself, you've got to be pretty tragic.


Shadowy Organizations

Conspiracy theorists believe the world is run by schizophrenic shadowy organizations who - despite conspiring with millions in perfect silence - can't resist putting clues in things like major public monuments and every note of currency ever printed. Making the average Batman villain look like Professor Moriarty.

At the last count the world was secretly being run by the Illuminati, Knights Templar, Freemasons, Trilateral commission, New World Order, Skull & Bones society, Bilderberg group, Nine Unknown Men and the ever-popular Jews. It's unknown whether they all vote on various issues or just ask Dan Brown whose turn it is each week. Conspiracy theorists honestly believe that these invisible elites have run thousands of years of history but are incapable of killing someone who lives in a basement and shouts on street corners.

Conspiracy Theorist Abilities

Conspiracy theorists display incredible attention to detail, an even more incredible ability to ignore details they don't like, obsessive focus and a complete absence of social skills. Every time a new crazy decides that Bush brought down World Trade Center, anime loses a powerful Pokemaster.

Does anyone recognize themselves....

[WillEase666 Profile]

I've been told I am a little weird.

[Cia212 Profile]

Your example spells it out clearly, the nut-jobs among us are willing to believe anything - except a mundane explanation.

But, too be fair, only a few of the nut-jobs are true believers, the rest are either trolling, drumming up views to their website (or youtube channel, etc) or are trying to sell a book or video.

[Cosmine Profile]

Did that nut job association whit conspiracy started before or after i started posting at dtv's?

[Slith Profile]

Did that nut job association whit conspiracy started before or after i started posting at dtv's?

Lolz. About the same time.

JK