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Woody Allen: Boy, I've really put you in a tough spot, haven't I?

Woody Allen: Boy, I've really put you in a tough spot, haven't I?

February 3, 2014 - As those who have followed the uproar surrounding my lifetime achievement award at this year's Golden Globes are aware, my name has again become the source of controversy. Once more, the media, the general public, and my own family members have called into question the propriety of continuing to honor and lavish praise upon an individual - myself, legendary film director Woody Allen - who has been accused of committing crimes of the most deplorable nature. Addressing this highly contentious matter would require you to delve into the following ethical quandary: Do you continue to support me as a filmmaker, writer, and human being who has technically not been convicted of any crime, or do you henceforth cease your admiration of me and my work due to the admittedly pretty damn compelling evidence that I molested at least one young child?


I mean, wow, I've really put you guys in a pretty tight spot here, haven't I? Can't say I envy you people one bit; this one's a real doozy.

Gosh, just thinking about the moral ramifications of this situation is enough to make one's head spin, frankly. On one hand, you have the accusations that have been leveled against me: that I am a sexual predator who molested my adopted adolescent daughter while simultaneously entering into a sexual relationship with the child of my now ex-partner that continues to this day. But on the other hand, you have my truly lovable persona and monumental contributions to cinema - as evidenced by such timeless works as Manhattan, The Purple Rose Of Cairo, and Crimes And Misdemeanors - that have delighted millions of people and unquestionably benefited society as a whole.

So, do you blindly condemn me based on unproven allegations of sexual impropriety that, even if true, shouldn't automatically diminish the import of my immense artistic contributions? Or do you maintain that the value of my work supersedes what I may or may not have done in my personal life, knowing that in doing so you are most likely siding with a pederast whom the American public has inexplicably let off the hook for a series of horrific crimes that in a just world would have seen me in handcuffs long ago?

See what I've done to you? See the choice I've forced you to make? That's right, folks; for the rest of your lives you'll have to weigh everything my art has meant to you personally against a series of damning, albeit not technically proven, allegations of horrific abuse, and you basically have to make that calculation every single time you watch one of my films or laugh at one of my undeniably funny jokes. Holy Moses, that has to be a real drag for you guys.

Oh, sure, you could try to defend me in an argument by saying, "Well, he was never convicted, and it's possible that this little girl just made all that stuff up," but, c'mon, anyone who says that is bound to sound like kind of an asshole, right? Even if your intentions are good, that line of argument does sort of make you look like you're throwing a potential molestation victim under the bus in order to defend, at all costs, that funny, neurotic guy in the glasses who makes you laugh, doesn't it? No, obviously you can't do that. But then again, what are you going to do? Never watch Annie Hall again? Not to sound too conceited or anything, but you know you don't want that.

The fact is, this isn't a black-and-white issue. My gifts to the medium of film are unparalleled: Sleeper; Hannah And Her Sisters; and don't forget Broadway Danny Rose, which is severely underrated! My alleged crimes are atrocious: sexual predation, molestation, pedophilia. I have produced scores of deftly funny yet poignant movies that have pushed the genre of film comedy into new and previously unexplored dimensions. On the other side of the coin, I left my longtime girlfriend for a girl 37 years my junior the same year I very likely, for all you know, digitally penetrated a 7-year-old girl. Are you about to go to bat for someone like that? Will you join a society that is willing not just to exonerate but also to celebrate a possible remorseless child molester just because he made Sweet And Lowdown?

Face it, you're all pretty screwed on this one. Goddamn it, if only the evidence against me was just a smidgen more airtight and I wasn't so delightful. This would be so easy for you all! I'm really sorry about that.

At the end of the day, I am just Woody Allen, the lovably neurotic New York Jew whose works have captivated audiences for more than half a century. However, I am also a man who preyed on the teenaged daughter of my lover, marrying her while tearing apart our family in the process. I also am an acclaimed writer and performer who has produced hundreds of films, plays, essays, and stand-up comedy routines that have become an inherent part of our cultural fabric and that will continue to inspire for decades to come. And yes, I also possibly, maybe, forced myself on a 7-year-old girl - my own daughter - betraying the most sacred covenant of trust and ruining her life. And I made Bananas.

Anyway, sorry I can't do anything more than deny the allegations against me, which does you absolutely no good whatsoever. At the end of the day, it's up to you to decide what happened and what is right. Good luck, everyone



Sources and more information:

Dylan Farrow speaks out about abuse accusations against Woody Allen

WODDY ALLEN'S adopted daughter Dylan Farrow on Saturday repeated - and elaborated on - her assertion that the filmmaker sexually assaulted her when she was a child. Farrow's open letter, published on The New York Times web site, is part of a renewed public scrutiny of allegations first leveled against Allen in 1992, shortly after the end of his...

Dylan Farrow renews Woody Allen molestation claims

Woody Allen Can't Be Charged Now, Prosecutor Says

Woody Allen denies Dylan Farrow's sexual assault allegation

Woody Allen - My Daughter's a Liar ...


( via theonion.com )



7 comments

  • danwiberg9#

    danwiberg9 wrote February 6, 2014 1:48:28 AM CET

    Dear Woody, Child sexual abuse happens most often in the wealthiest of homes in fact 85% of all child sexual abuse happens in homes just like yours.

    Am I supposed to believe that just because you made a few movies and earned a few awards you would not be capable of being a pervert?

    Thar would be like expecting me to believe a well renowned football player would not commit rape or that one would not get involved in dog fighting.

    Hell a simple look at the Elite of the UK today exposes a great deal of that kind of perversion leading into and back out of the House of Windsor. Which has been known for hundreds of years for it's scandals.

    Hell in 1988 President George Bush senior was indicted for the very same thing. Of course his wealth and position got him free and clear of crimes that would place any "goyim" in jail.

    Why should your wealth and privilege make you any different and any less capable of being a pervert?

    Are we to forget the "Orgasmatron" in your really twisted movie "Sleeper"? What kind of perverted mind comes up with that kind of trash?

    Just because your crimes were not "technically proven" because the mother dropped the charges does not mean they did not take place nor that she was not bought off. Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

    What else could motivate a woman of her age to come out ant report this? I was raped in a Christian children's home and I am sure many of the other boys were as well. It happens mostly in the best of homes. But let us not forget owo you Zionists think of us non Jews,

    The Talmud is Judaism's holiest book. Its authority takes precedence over the Old Testament in Judaism. The Scribes claim the Talmud is partly a collection of traditions Moses gave them in oral form. These had not yet been written down in Jesus' time. Christ condemned the traditions of the Mishnah (early Talmud) and those who taught it the Scribes and Pharisees. The following study is based on the Jewish-authorized, English translation of the Babylonian Talmud: the Soncino edition.
    Every selection I cite is documented directly from the text of the authoritative Soncino Talmud. I have published herein the authenticated sayings of the Jewish Talmud. Look them up for yourself. To verify the Talmud passages cited, refer to the Soncino edition Talmud, which may be found in large universities and seminary libraries.

    The Soncino Talmud may also be purchased from book dealers.
    The implementation of Talmudic philosophy has caused untold suffering throughout history and now in occupied Palestine it is used as a justification for the mass murder and current enslavement of Palestinian civilians.
    ==============

    1. Erubin 21b: Whosoever disobeys the rabbis deserves death and will be punished by being boiled in hot excrement in hell.
    2. Moed Kattan 17a : If a Jew is tempted to do evil he should go to a city where he is not known and do the evil there.
    3. Baba Mezia 114a-114b. Non-Jews are Not Human. Only Jews are human ("Only ye are designated men"). Also see Kerithoth 6b under the sub-head, "Oil of Anointing" and Berakoth 58a in which Gentile women are designated animals ("she-asses").
    4. Sanhedrin 58b: Jews are Divine. If a heathen (Gentile) hits a Jew, THE GENTILE MUST BE KILLED. Hitting a Jew is the same as hitting God.
    5. Sanhedrin 57a: O.K. to Cheat Non-Jews. A Jew need not pay a Christian ("Cuthean") the wages owed him for work.
    6. Baba Kamma 37b: Jews Have Superior Legal Status. "If an ox of an Israelite gores an ox of a Canaanite there is no liability; but if an ox of a Canaanite gores an ox of an Israelite...the payment is to be in full."
    7. Baba Mezia 24a: Jews May Steal from Non-Jews. If a Jew finds an object lost by a Gentile ("heathen") it does not have to be returned. (Affirmed also in Baba Kamma 113b).
    8. Sanhedrin 76a: God will not spare a Jew who "marries his daughter to an old man or takes a wife for his infant son or returns a lost article to a Cuthean..."
    9. Sanhedrin 57a: JEWS MAY ROB AND KILL NON-JEWS. When a Jew murders a Christian ("Cuthean"), there will be no death penalty. What a Jew steals from a Gentile he may keep.
    10. Baba Kamma 37b: Gentiles are outside the protection of the law and God has "exposed their money to Israel."
    11. Baba Kamma 113a: Jews May Lie to Non-Jews . JEWS MAY USE LIES ("subterfuges") TO CIRCUMVENT A GENTILE.
    12. Yebamoth 98a: Non-Jewish Children Sub-Human. All Gentile children are animals.
    13. Abodah Zarah 36b: Gentile girls are in a state of niddah (filth) from birth.
    14. Abodah Zarah 22a-22b: Gentiles prefer sex with cows.
    15. Sanhedrin 106a . Says Jesus' mother was a whore: "She who was the descendant of princes and governors played the harlot with carpenters." Also in Shabbath 104b it is stated in the "uncensored" text of the Talmud that Jesus' mother, "Miriam the hairdresser," had sex with many men.
    16. Sanhedrin 106 gloats over the early age at which Jesus died: "Hast thou heard how old Balaam (Jesus) was? He replied: It is not actually stated but since it is written, Bloody and deceitful men shall not live out half their days it follows that he was thirty-three or thirty-four years old."
    17. Sanhedrin 43a Jesus ("Yeshu" the Nazarene") was executed because he practiced sorcery.
    18. Gittin 57a . Says Jesus is being boiled in "hot excrement".
    19. Sanhedrin 43a . Jesus deserved execution: "On the eve of the Passover, Yeshu was hanged...Do you suppose that he was one for whom a defense could be made? Was he not a Mesith (enticer)?"
    20. Rosh Hashanah 17a . Christians ("minim") and others who reject the Talmud will go to hell and be punished there for all generations.
    21. Shabbath 116a (p. 569). Jews must destroy the books of the Christians. Israel Shahak reports that the Zionists burned hundreds of New Testament books in Occupied Palestine on March 23, 1980 (cf. Jewish History, Jewish Religion, p. 21).
    22. Gittin 69a . To heal his flesh a Jew should take dust that lies within the shadow of an outdoor toilet, mix it with honey and eat it.
    23. Shabbath 41a. The law regulating the rule for how to urinate in a holy way is given.
    24. Yebamoth 63a. States that Adam had sexual intercourse with all the animals in the Garden of Eden.
    25. Sanhedrin 55b . A Jew may marry a three year old girl. (specifically, three years "and a day" old).
    26. Sanhedrin 54b . A Jew may have sex with a child as long as that child is over nine years old.
    27. Kethuboth 11b . When a older man has intercourse with a girl it is nothing because her virginity will grow back.
    28. Yebamoth 59b . A woman who had intercourse with a beast is eligible to marry a Jewish priest. A woman who has sex with a demon is also eligible to marry a Jewish priest.
    29. Abodah Zarah 17a. States that there is not a whore in the world that Rabbi Eleazar has not had sex with.
    30. Hagigah 27a . States that no rabbi can ever go to hell.
    31. Gittin 70a . The Rabbis taught: "On coming from a privy (outdoor toilet) a man should not have sexual intercourse till he has waited long enough to walk half a mile, because the demon of the privy is with him for that time; if he does, his children will be epileptic."
    32. Gittin 69b (p. 329). To heal the disease of pleurisy ("catarrh") a Jew should "take the excrement of a white dog and knead it with balsam, but if he can possibly avoid it he should not eat the dogs excrement as it loosens the limbs."
    33. Pesahim 111a. It is forbidden for dogs, women or palm trees to pass between two men, nor may others walk between dogs, women or palm trees. Special dangers are involved if the women are menstruating or sitting at a crossroads.
    34. Menahoth 43b-44a . A Jewish man is obligated to say the following prayer every day: Thank you God for not making me a Gentile, a woman or a slave.
    35. Shabbath 86a-86b . Because Jews are holy they do not have sex during the day unless the house can be made dark. A Jewish scholar can have sex during the day if he uses his garment like a tent to make it dark.
    36. Gittin 57b . Claims that four billion Jews were killed by the Romans in the city of Bethar. Gittin 58a claims that 16 million Jewish children were wrapped in scrolls and burned alive by the Romans. (Ancient demography indicates that there were not 16 million Jews in the entire world at that time, much less 16 million Jewish children or four billion Jews).
    37. Soferim 15, Rule 10. This is the saying of Rabbi Simon ben Yohai: Tob shebe goyyim harog ("Even the best of the Gentiles should all be killed"). This passage is not from the Soncino edition but is from the original Hebrew of the Babylonian Talmud as quoted by the 1907 Jewish Encyclopedia, published by Funk and Wagnalls and compiled by Isidore Singer, under the entry, "Gentile," (p. 617).
    38. On Purim, Feb. 25, 1994, Israeli army officer Baruch Goldstein, an orthodox Jew from Brooklyn, massacred 40 Palestinian civilians, including children, while they knelt in prayer in a mosque. Goldstein was a disciple of the late Rabbi Kahane who has stated that his view of Arabs as "dogs" is "from the Talmud." (Cf. CBS "60 Minutes", "Kahane").
    39. Univ. of Jerusalem Prof. Ehud Sprinzak described Kahane and Goldsteins philosophy: "They believe it's God's will that they commit violence against "goyim," a Hebrew term for non-Jews." (NY Daily News, Feb. 26, 1994, p. 5).
    40. Rabbi Yitzhak Ginsburg declared, "We have to recognize that Jewish blood and the blood of a goy are not the same thing." (NY Times, June 6, 1989, p.5).
    41. Rabbi Yaacov Perrin says, "One million Arabs are not worth a Jewish fingernail." (NY Daily News, Feb. 28, 1994, p.6).

  • Jeffinsydney#

    Jeffinsydney wrote February 5, 2014 11:13:42 PM CET

    Can someone tell me why this is even posted on this site?

    Further, this is a private matter, a family matter; think about your problems being aired in the public arena(?) Not a very nice thought (?) with lots of strangers posting their two cents worth on public blogs.....of course then the society we live in these days is not very nice anyway.

    Read more: http://www.disclose.tv/news/Woody_Allen_Boy_Ive_really_put_you_in_a_toug...

  • missamandamanhattan#

    missamandamanhattan wrote February 5, 2014 11:59:01 AM CET

    Just want to add - he mentions leaving his long time girlfriend for another woman. He left a woman who had no Children for one who did have Children - that is textbook paedophile behaviour.

    Much Peace - Amanda

  • missamandamanhattan#

    missamandamanhattan wrote February 5, 2014 11:56:51 AM CET

    At the end of the day he is just Woody Allen...

    He is a paedophile and he has been cast into the spotlight and needs to be accountable for his repugnant and unnecessary abuse of a vulnerable Child.

    He needs to realise that his movies mean nothing and amount to nothing until he steps up to face the wrongs he has done. He is not a man - no real man preys on a vulnerable child. Real men protect Children.

    When he married his step daughter he paved his own special path to hell. More power and strength to Dylan Farrow for finding the courage to speak out - she deserves our support. Paedophiles deserve to face their demons.

    Much Peace - Amanda

  • Sugarcakes#

    Sugarcakes wrote February 5, 2014 4:51:13 AM CET

    Yes, I noticed that he some how thinks his pedophilia should be a tradeoff for his questionably "good" films. Maybe he is talented and I shouldn't judge, since I never did like any of them anyway. But I do know that his self-aggrandizement comes off making him sound as if no one has ever said "No" to this man. Talk about entitlement; he is your perfect example. Does he have no conscious at all? This man is sleazy & deluded and just lost his chance to convince anyone that he is innocent. He needs to be in prison. Could the authorities have been so blind with adoration for him, that his childrens childhoods had to be sacrificed? Because if he did this to one or two of them, he most likely did it to some of the others. What were there, eleven of them? What a pity...

  • properREDeye#

    properREDeye wrote February 4, 2014 7:36:21 PM CET

    Get off your high horse. Maybe once when your name meant shit you could legitimately sit up there but a pedophile let off on a technicality can no longer ride that pony. The arrogance and egocentricity of the letter does no favours to your cause, they just perpetuate the American exceptionalism attitude clearly on display for all to see and which probably led to this tragic turn of events in the first place. The worst of it for me is that there is no repentance, and admittance is suggested in this letter, more or less stating that if you did it you should be entitled to anyway, which says to me that other children are at risk. Offering your work as 'payment' or some kind of remedy to the world for pedophilic actions is delusional. If you were ever convicted i would like to see all your estate donated to victims of pedophilia

  • Nedroj#

    Nedroj wrote February 4, 2014 4:24:16 PM CET

    Why does he rabbling about the movies he made ??. He is full of shit.

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