Crying Is A Sign Of Emotional Intelligence Not A Sign Of Weakness
We all cry, right? I know, I know. We were all told at some point in our lives that crying is a sign of weakness, and if you lost the natural lottery and were born as a male, you were twice as unlucky. Boys are always being told that they need to be strong, that they need to behave like their fathers and provide for their families. Girls on the other hand feel are encouraged to cry and be emotional.
Whichever sex we are, however, from a very young age, we started hiding the way that we feel out of fear. We did this as a result of growing up in this society and believing that if others found out how we feel, they would think we are weak and this would make us vulnerable to being hurt or that someone would be able to take advantage of us. This just simply isn't the truth though, right? We all benefit from a good cry every so often and it should be regarded as completely normal. We need to be able to face our emotions, and this is where we find our inner strength - our inner emotional intelligence and the ability we all possess to be aware of the way we feel. To add to this, we also need to focus on the way we express our feelings and we need to be able to openly express them.
According to Roger Baker, Professor of Clinical Psychology at Bournemouth University:
"Crying does help us process faster than if we don’t cry at all, but it’s not the only thing — it’s part of a package of expressing it. If your father died, your natural reaction would be to cry. You wouldn’t be able to get it out of your mind, you’d be discussing it a great deal, and you couldn’t work or do anything initially.
But gradually, the turmoil would subside. You’d reach a point where you could look at photos, and although you’d remember him, there would be no powerful emotional reaction.
At that point, you could say it has been emotionally processed. But it’s not the passing of time that does that — it’s all the things you’ve done in between to help you to process it."
I know it's hard to put your feelings out there, I really do - but you need to do it because if you don't, all the negativity will build up inside of you until you burst, and quite likely cause more problems for yourself. There simply isn't a positive of ignoring your feelings or not dealing with them straight away, so you might as well do so when problems first come up. At least when you deal with the trauma and cry, you do feel better afterward, it's simply a natural process of any difficult time in our lives, we need the time to heal and understand ourselves as well as take care of our minds.
Thus I leave you with one message, crying is healthy and it's a way to move forward.