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Discipline Your Children Wisely - Proverbs 22:15 (NIV)
15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
Proverbs Club Commentary
Discipline removes the foolishness
from the spirit of a child.
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You have just unleashed the flood with this one…
LOL. Discipline does not mean punishment, necessarily.
training to act in accordance with rules; drill:
an activity, exercise, or regimen that develops or improves a skill; training:
Sticking to specific and regular mealtimes is excellent discipline for many dieters.
a branch of instruction or learning:
the disciplines of history and economics.
punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.
When you’ve mastered “discipline” and you’ve built an immunity…
My parents punished me when I messed up.
Slapped, thrown around, screamed at…
BUT…only when I messed up. They were strict and believed their way was the only way. (It wasn’t I later discovered. )
I found out growing up, when I would go to friends that they’d actually say no to their parents or argue with them and that absolutely astonished me. That did not fly at my house.
Today I still wonder if thats why my older sister ran away so early and never came back.
Me…I feel like its the exact reason I had the respect for my elders and lead me to the decisions I’d made in life. I also now have the best relationship ever with my parents.
Proverbs 22:6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.
Teaching a child the world revolves around him or her and should give them any and everything they want is not love, it is child abuse. Child abuse is not always physical, verbal or emotional. Sometimes it is doing nothing at all.
Look at the spoiled, crybaby safe place needing younger generation we have. We have kids that go in the military and are giving “stress cards” if it gets too rough on them. Some of the mama boys wave a stress card if the DI hands them a broom. Those kids burning and tearing up the streets, well mom and dad “loved” them too much to discipline them and now they know no discipline. They rob, kill and rape people because mommy said they were special and should have anything they want.
Like you, there were times when I was actually punished. This is not good, or scriptural. Physical and mental abuse is not acceptable. A child cannot even process it. Even a friendly dog will fight back. Discipline must be firm and tied to the event. As a parent, I know I could have done better with reason and not anger. Cooperation is preferable to conflict.
This verse is famous and misunderstood. I have twin boys. I learned early to get their attention without harming them. Noise on the diaper is fair. Removing the belt, as my father did but never me, is very effective. Using it must be light. It is a not a whip. I recommend to stop physical discipline very early, maybe even 4 years old, depending on the child.
Proverbs 13:24 (NIV)
24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
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That depends on the situation. I have saw some parents face physical assault from a kid like a teenager. Thank God my kids never tried that. God help them if they had. If they are going to act like a man I will treat him like one, good or bad he gets to choose.
Thankfully I never had to chose the bad side. I can say I can count on one hand the times I spanked both of my kids. But they had a deterrent that helped me. They knew I would if they pushed me to that. When people are sure what you will do it often stops them from doing it in the first place.
As your scriptures you related say there is a right and wrong way to discipline. Fist beating, kicking, face slapping is never justified. The Bible says that much. The old saying about “never hit a child in the face because God has provided a better place” is very true
Agreed. These children were either ignored or maybe incorrectly punished. There are many reasons for a child to rebel. They must be addressed EARLY.
I like your old saying I never heard before:
Never hit a child in the face because God has provided a better place.
I heard that many times when I was a child right before I got my tail tore up for doing something I should not do and knew better in the first place. I got my tail tore up more than a few times. Today I am glad they did.
I agree. When a child is abused they blame themselves. Their mind says “why am I so bad my parents do not love me, what is wrong with me”? Then here comes a cruel world and they believe every insult or accusation levied against the, even if they know they are innocent" Self esteem is challenged and remains low for life until something intervenes. The only thing that intervenes that I have saw really effective is Jesus Christ. Drugs will not fix it, nor alcohol, nor any sin they attach themselves to in place of that love. It takes a love greater than humanly possible to overcome a lack of human love, if that makes sense.
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I had a similar upbringing – our parents can only rule by the ways in which they were taught … technically they dont know any better.
Theyre very different now with the grand kids. That just tells me that they too have learned through their journey – and Ive taken a very different stance.
I don’t punish as such … I talk, explain and help the child come to realisation & understanding by themselves. If a child can see and understand the error in their judgement it should be easier to avoid as an adult.
However if a child wont listen or be willing to listen/discuss … then punishment is handed down and explained that it is their unwillingness that has caused me to take such action.
It takes more time but actually explaing actions to a kid actually works – theyre not stupid … Small and Naive, Yes … but not stupid.
Totally agree Danny … If I didnt get lambasted I dont think I would be who I am today – wouldnt change it … lol cant anyway
And then sometimes you have those moments. There were 4 years difference between my son and my daughter. She was the oldest. In his preschool years I purchased a couch and some end tables. My son was writing a little before he went to school but it was cryptic to say the least. I came home from work one day and the words “*** did this” were carved in the top of one of the tables. It was obvious he was setting her up. So I called him in the room and asked him about it. I told him lying was worse than damaging things in my eyes. A tear came in his eyes and he said "I did it daddy I was mad at her ". I did not punish him physically. I went out and bought some wood putty and stain and made him sit there with me and fix it. I really hurt him telling him how I worked hard and traveled a lot and here he was making me spend my time off repairing something that should not be broke. I asked him how he would feel if I had just believed that and spanked her (no chance of that). That got to him worse than anything. He even told me “you can spank me if you want to”. As if I needed permission. That is why I said in the earlier comment it all depends on the situation.
Let me add to that,something came to my mind. Years later my son told me “daddy you were hard on me growing up but now I see why”. I was thinking to myself that if I had carved in the top of an expensive brand new end table I would have gotten a standing 8 count, but there was no need because like another member noted my parents were not hard at all on my kids, they were too lenient
Well played old fruit – that lesson will stay with him forever and the knowledge from it will be applied to other situations in his own life which he will do himself as he has/had already learned the fundamental lesson!
Cause & Effect! … brilliant example dude
Just thinking back on what you said and Paraphrasing … “You can Spank Me Because I caused this and Im the one who deserves It” … Ownership! … Honesty! … Humility! ZOMG! … Thats a strong kid … even stronger after the fact.
Simple lessons like that have huge impact.
Taking a spanking means nothing by comparison.
The scriptures disagree with you… perhaps you should actually read them before offering an un-researched incorrect opinionated assumption. But thank God He knows better than you do how to raise a child.
Proverbs 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”
Proverbs 23:13-14 “Withhold not correction for the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shall beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell.”
It’s not discipline if it’s done in anger - but corporal correction may or will save a wayward son or daughter’s life someday. Teaching your children that there are painful consequences for their wrong choices doesn’t just protect them it protects society in general. We have prisons full of those who made wrong choices and recidivism in the US is staggering, 44% returning before completing their first year out and up to 77% return after 5 years. Prison used to be hard labor, bad food, terrible conditions so that those repaying their debt to society would NOT want to return and would make better choices so as not to return.
Now they sit in extended “time outs” with access to every form of entertainment, excercise, education along with every drug imaginable.
It’s un-researched people like you that vote into office those who would continue to protect these types of criminals all the while creating legislation to take away the rights of law abiding citizens.
Another case of sheer genius on the part of internet ambiguity.